Fix A Heart
by alliekedavra
Summary: Allie is a girl with a hurtful experience, and she can't help but let it relate to everything she does. Will she open her heart and trust Kendall, or will she end up getting hurt again?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush. I just own the storyline, Allie, Dylan, and Lily.**

I wake up in my bed and smile, jump out of it and run over to my calendar to make sure that I'm not dreaming. I end up letting out a little yelp. Today was the day of the concert that me and my sister, Lily were so counting down the days for. I jump into the shower and go to school. It was probably the longest day of school in my life. I came home and ran straight down to my room in the basement. I start going through all of the clothes in my closet, trying to find something to wear. Eventually, I ended up with all of my clothes out of my closet and thrown somewhere across my room. I run to my sister's room across the hall and see her doing the same.

"Lily!" I smile. "What are you wearing?" I scream.

She screams in return and pulls out some white skinnies and a really cute ruffle top. Her short curly brown hair is straightened and her makeup is perfect.

"Argh! Help me find something if your already done!" I say and run back to my room. She ends up handing me a dark pair of distressed jeggings and a white blouse.

"Are you sure this is good enough?" I ask, anxiously.

"Al, stop stressing. You're going to look amazing. If you don't stop I'm going to go without you," she says and laughs when she sees my face. "I'm kidding. Now let me do your hair," She says and leads me into the bathroom that we share. She turns on the curling iron and starts playing some BTR from her iPod. She curls my long blonde hair loosely and all she has to do is put mascara on me. We both look into the mirror at each other.

"Sometimes I don't see how we're even sisters," she whispers. I look into the mirror. Lily looks like a supermodel even in sweats. Her 5'8 frame is perfect and her short brown hair perfectly frames her face. She can pull off any makeup that you put on her and her brown eyes look stunning with the makeup she's wearing. My short, 5'3 frame has to have certain clothes and I can't pull off any make up besides foundation and mascara. My straight long blonde hair goes down to about my waist and when it's curled is goes to my ribs. My blue eyes look amazing with my outfit and even when I wear heels I can't compare to Lily.

"Wow," I say. "The only thing we have in common is probably our noses," I laugh. "And I even think that I have moms and you have dads!" I add. She laughs.

"Come on," she says and goes into her room and walks out a few minutes later with her outfit on. I wait upstairs and she comes up hiding something behind her back. I look at her skeptically and she just smiles and whips out two new tickets. Front row.

"What!" I ask, stunned.

"Happy late birthday, Allie," She says and smiles. "18 was your golden birthday, after all," she adds.

I beam and put the pass in my small satchel and we go out to her car. She drives us to the concert and I swear that my nervousness is radiating.

"Just calm down," Lily says and gets out.

We got out of the car and made our way to the ticket booth. We handed our passes to the woman and she let us through, and immediately the bouncers led us to our seats.

"This is so exciting!" I whisper-slash-yell to Lily. She laughs and the venue starts to fill up fast. Eventually, the whole crowd is chanting 'Big Time Rush' and the boys come out. Lily and I both sang along to the concert. All of the sudden, James Maslow is standing in front of my sister. He takes her hand and leads her to the stage. He sings Worldwide to her and by the end Lily is beaming. Girls are screaming, letting out their jealousy of the beautiful girl on stage. I smile. After the song James whispers in her ear and she smiles and nods. When she comes back to our seat I cock an eyebrow and she gives me a knowing smile and winks.

After the concert I turn to go. I was determined to get a t-shirt. Lily grabbed my arm.

"Wait," She said and beamed again.

"What?" I ask and take my arm out of her grip.

"The surprises aren't done yet," She says and the next thing I see is James Maslow standing behind my sister, smiling. I stand there speechless.

"Hey Lil," James says and hugs me. "I'm James, and you must be Allie," he says.

"Yeah," I manage to stammer out. I look at Lily, "Wait, he just called you Lil. The last person to call you that was-" I say, although I stop because I can't bear to think of the horrible memory. James smirks and Lily looks up at him and smiles.

"I met James at Starbucks a few weeks ago and that's how I got the tickets. And that's how you're going to meet all of BTR," she says and smiles. "Aren't I just the best?" she says and laughs at my facial expression. "Come on, you know you love me," she adds and holds her arms out. I hug her and James leads us backstage.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me that you met them," I whisper to her on our way backstage.

"My bad, I just thought that I would want to give you the best birthday present ever," she says sarcastically and James opens the door to their room. Logan is on his iPhone and Carlos and Kendall are throwing pieces of popcorn at each other, trying to catch them in their mouth. All of them turn to look at the three of us. Carlos jumps up and smiles. He puts out a hand.

"Hi, I'm Carlos," he says.

"Hi, I'm Allie," I smile and shake his hand.

Kendall throws a piece of popcorn at Carlos and walks up to me he gives me a hug.

"Kendall," he says and smiles.

"I know," I say and smile back. Kendall and Carlos go back to throwing popcorn.

Logan is the last to stand and he smiles.

"Obviously I'm Logan," he says and chuckles.

"And obviously I'm Allie," I say and we both laugh.

"I don't think you want to get in the middle of Kendall and Carlos. You can sit by me," he says and I do as he says. We talk about BTR for a while and then I realize that Kendall is staring at me.

"What?" I ask him.

"Nothing, it's just-" He stops and his green eyes get a strange curiosity in them. "Nothing," he says and throws another piece of popcorn at Carlos. I look at Logan with a confused look and he just shrugs. His phone goes off and he looks at it angrily.

"Is something wrong?" I ask.

"No, nothing, I'm just not feeling well," he says and stands. "I think I'll just take the limo home," he adds and stands.

"Oh, feel better," I say and smile. He smiles back and walks out of the room.

I caught Kendall staring again.

"What?" I ask nervously. I look around and see that James and Lily are gone.

"Nothing," he says quickly.

"This is the second time I've caught you staring at me Kendall. What are you thinking?" I ask.

"I was just wondering how you and Lily are sisters. You guys are complete opposites..." he says.

"Oh, yeah, we look a lot different," I say.

"No, you guys have some resemblance but you guys are totally different. You're quieter and down to earth. Lily is loud and obnoxious, she doesn't care what people think. No wonder why she's dating James," he says and laughs. "They're exactly alike," he adds.

"Lily and James? Dating?" I ask. He nods.

"She didn't tell you?" he asks and cocks an eyebrow. I shake my head. "Oh, I thought you two were closer than that," he says.

"Yeah, me too," I say under my breath.

Carlos looks over to me and notices that my mood had changed.

"Hey Allie, want to play hide and seek? Me, Kendall, and Logan did earlier. It's really fun here," he says and gives me a big smile. I can't help but smile back.

"Sure, but I don't know where to go here..." I say.

"Oh that's okay, you can come with me for a few rounds," Kendall says. I smile and nod.

"Okay, I'll count!" Carlos says and jumps up, he runs into the bathroom. I hear a faint '1... 2... 3...'

Kendall grabs my hand and we run out onto the stage.

"Stay here," he says and runs backstage. All of the sudden I feel the floor sinking and Kendall is standing next to me again.

"Whoa," I say and he laughs. We step off of the sinking piece of stage when it's done. When we're below the stage he presses another button and the floor rises back up.

"He'll never find us," he says and laughs again. My heart skips a beat and I laugh along with him. I feel nervous again and then feel my iPhone vibrate. I take it out if my bag and I want to throw it at the wall. My boyfriend would be calling me right now. I quickly put it back into my purse and Kendall cocks another eyebrow.

"My dad," I say and shrug, although I wanted to cry after I said that. Kendall chuckles.

"Wait," he says and starts rummaging in his jeans pocket. He pulls out his iPhone and smiles. "Trade ya," he says and holds out his phone. I smile and take mine out, quickly deleting the call and handing it to him. I enter my number and hand it back. He smiles and I see that the ceiling above us is starting to descend. Carlos is standing there in a few seconds.

"You guys suck at this," he says and laughs. "Now go count!" he adds and runs away. Kendall and I start walking back to the dressing room.

We arrive at the dressing room and Lily and James are sitting on the couch.

"We have to go," Lily says and stands. I sigh and hug Kendall goodbye.

"See ya," I say and walk out of the dressing room with Lily. I get out into the parking lot and it's weird not seeing it full of cars. I look around and then see someone coming out of the building running full speed towards us. I was just about to ask Lily if she could recognize who it was but she was already in the car. I realize its Kendall. He gets closer to me and starts slowing down. I give him a confused look and he just smiles.

"Hey," he says.

"Uh, hi..." I say awkwardly.

"Oh! I almost forgot. You forgot your phone. Well technically I forgot to give it back," he says and gives me an apologetic smile, holding out my phone.

"Oh, wow. Thanks," I say and put it in my bag.

"Yup," he says and puts his hands in his pockets.

"Alright then…" I say and slowly start backing away from him.

"Wait, would you want to hang out sometime?" he says and smiles. "Preferably tomorrow," he adds.

"Sure, just text me," I say and can't help but smiling.

"Alright," he says and gives me another hug. I smile and get into the car and he walks away.

Lily and I get to our house around midnight. I start making my way downstairs but Lily stays upstairs. 

"Aren't you going to sleep? I thought you had to work tomorrow," I say.

"No, James said that he has a surprise for me," she says and walks into the kitchen.

"Oh, okay. See you in the morning," I say and make my way downstairs. I change into some pajama shorts and throw my hair into a bun. I'm asleep before my head even hits the pillow.  
>The next morning I wake up and check my phone. Dylan, my boyfriend, texted me 3 times and called me twice. I sigh and check them. <p>

D: Why didn't you answer me!  
>D: Where the hell are you!<br>D: CALL ME! 

I sigh again and then realize that I have a text from someone named 'Guess who? ;)' 

Guess who? ;): Have you figured it out yet? ;)  
>I smile and text back.<br>Me: Hm, I'm not sure. Can I have a hint? :)  
>I get out of my bed and go upstairs. I see Dylan on the couch. <p>

"What are you doing here!" I almost yell.

"It's not like I don't know where your spare key is," he says.

"But this is Lily's house! Not mine!" I say.

"Maybe she should hide her keys better," he says and shrugs.

"Get out!" I almost yell again and point at the door.

"Oh come on babe," he says. "I was just checking if you were okay."

"Well I'm fine!" I retort. Dylan stands and walks over to me. He kisses me roughly and I push him away.

"No! Get out!" I say and try to push him towards the door.

"That was my way of apologizing," he says and winks at me.

"Well I didn't like it," I say and push him towards the door but his 6'5 frame doesn't move an inch.

"Seriously? We've been dating for about a month. How can't you like that?" He asks and smirks.

"Because I'm not a whore," I say and push him towards the door for the third time although it does no good. "Now seriously Dylan, get out!"

"No," he says and pushes me against the wall. He kisses me even rougher. I try to push him away and he just squeezes my shoulders. I whimper in pain. He thinks that I whimper from pleasure and he picks me up in a steel grip. He leads me to his car. I keep trying to get away from him. He opens the door and sets me inside.

"Come on babe. It's been a month, it's time," he says and smirks, shutting the door. He climbs above me and unzips his pants and pulls down my pajama shorts.

"No!" I say and he puts a hand over my mouth.

The next thing I remember is that he picked me up out of his car and stood me up on the sidewalk.

"There you go," he says and smirks. I sprint back inside Lily's house and I lock the door. I watch out the window until he leaves and I collapse on the floor, sobbing.

I cry on the floor for a few hours and when the tears stop flowing, I curl up in a ball and sit there shaking. When it gets around noon, I stand and walk downstairs. I go check and see if Lily is still sleeping. I realize she's not in her bed and I collapse the floor again. A new set of tears starts to come. I shake and sob for hours until it's starting to get dark out. When I hear the doorbell ring I start to crawl up the stairs. I realize there's a note on the table and read it.

Allie. Gone to Chicago with James. Be back soon. –Lil

I collapse onto the floor where I am and start sobbing for the third time that day. I realize someone is hovering over me and they touch my arm.

"No!" I scream and recoil from their touch. I scoot myself away from the person as fast as I can but they keep following me getting closer and closer. They put their arms around me and pick me up. I start to thrash. I hear repeated: "Allie! What's wrong?" and "Allie! Are you okay? Why are you upset?"

I scream, kick, and scratch. I do whatever I have to do to get away. The person sets me on the couch and I go into a fetal position and sob. I shake and start to hyperventilate. I feel the person next to me and I scream, moving away from them as far as I can.

"Allie," the person whispers. I look up because I finally recognize the voice.

"What happened? Are you okay?" the person says. He goes up to try to wipe my tears and I recoil from his hand like it was an electric shock. He puts his hand down and looks at me concerned. I shake my head and feel tears coming.

"Kendall," I manage to croak out and my voice feels scratchy and my throat hurts. He nods and looks at me even more worriedly. I try to smile but I end up letting tears go.

"Stay with me, please," I whisper.

He nods again and he goes to hug me. I involuntarily yelp and flinch. "I'm sorry," he says and his eyes get wide. "What's wrong?" he asks softly.

I shake my head and feel the tears pouring down my face. I go back into fetal position and cry myself until blackness envelops me.

The next morning I wake up on my couch balled up in the corner, still in fetal position. All of the events from the other day overcome me and rush over me like a wave. I start to hyperventilate again and I realize that Kendall isn't here. I slowly gain my breath back and stand slowly. Gripping the wall, I slowly make my way to the kitchen. I see Kendall there, sitting on his iPhone playing Angry Birds. I try to smile but accidentally end up making sort of a whimper and he turns to look at me. He stands quickly and starts walking towards me. He pulls me into a bear hug and I feel tears running down my cheeks. I automatically try to fight is grip and I end up hyperventilating again. He lets me go and grabs my shoulders. He lowers himself down to my height. I fight the urge to recoil and I slowly back away. He drops his hands but comes near me.

"Allie, what happened?" he asks softly, almost melodically.

"I-I..." I pause and wrap my arms around myself. "Dylan," I whisper and he looks at me confused.

"Who's that?" he asks.

"My boyfri-" I stop and look at him. "Ex," I whisper.

"Did you guys break up?" he asks concerned.

All I can do is nod and I feel myself swaying on my feet. Kendall grabs a chair and puts it underneath me right when I fall backwards. I wipe the tears on my face when I realize I'm stable.

"Did you love him?" he asks with a hint of jealousy in his tone. I shake my head and bring my knees up to my chest.

"Did he hurt you?" he asks even more worried than yesterday. I burst out into a fresh set of tears and I feel myself shaking again.

"Oh my god, what did he do? Did he hit you? Did he hurt your feelings?" he asks and bends down to get on eye level. I shake my head no and notice that I'm starting to hyperventilate again.

"Did he try to force you to do something?" he asks even more concerned than before. I let the sobs wrack through my body and I have to hold onto the table so I don't fall off of the chair.

"Did he... rape you?" he whispers, barely audible. I nod just barely and Kendall stands up straight. I look up to see his face. It's a mixture of anger, worry, confusion and sympathy. He bends down to look at me eye level again and he puts a hand on my arm. I flinch and he quickly removes it and his face fills with worry.

"I'm so so so sorry Allie. I didn't know," he whispers. I look down and try to control my shaking.  
>I see Kendall sit down on the chair across from me and notice that he's trembling and he puts his face in his hands. I do the same and let the sobs come again.<p>

"Why would anyone do that to you?" Kendall says, and I can tell he's furious. I don't answer and he slams a hand down on the table. I jump.

"Sorry, maybe I should go... This isn't a good time for you..." he says.

"No!" I almost beg. "Please don't go, I can't be alone," I whisper. He looks at me with pleading eyes.

"Why would he do that to you? Who is that sick minded?" he says. I bite my lip to hold back tears then I hear my stomach growl.

"Allie, when was the last time you ate?" Kendall asks worried again.

"Friday morning…" I say softly and look down.

"It's Sunday!" he exclaims. I flinch at how loud his voice was. "I'll make you something," he says softly and sets off towards the fridge. He makes spaghetti and I just pick at it. I can't even bear the thought of eating. My hands shake when I hold the fork and Kendall notices.

"I'll put the rest in the fridge..." he says slowly. I nod in response. We sit quietly in our thoughts for a while when I cringe. I drop my fork and I gasp.

"What if..." I pause and he looks at me with big eyes. "What if I'm pregnant?" I whisper.  
>Kendall looks at me.<p>

"No," he says and shakes his head. "No," he repeats. "I think you need to shower. Your hair is still curled from the concert," he says and stands.

"I can't be alone," I say quietly and embarrassed.

"Do you want me to stand outside the door?" he asks. I nod and he half smiles. I go downstairs and he follows me into my room. I notice my phone on my bed and I check it. I have 4 missed calls, two from Kendall and the rest from Lily. I have a text from Dylan and two from Kendall. I have three from Lily and one from a number I don't recognize.

D: If you haven't figured out by now, we're done.

I drop my phone back on the bed and go into fetal position. I try to control my breathing but the tears still come. Kendall walks over to me and puts a hand on my shoulder. I recoil from him and he takes my phone. His face gets an angry expression on it but softens almost instantly.

"There, deleted," he says softly. When I get my breathing controlled I pick it back up and read Kendall's texts.

Guess who? ;): Hm, it starts with K and rhymes with Wendell. :)  
>Guess who? ;): Let's hang out! Want to meet up around 4? :)<p>

I flinch and go on to Lily's messages.

Lily: Chicago is AH-MAZE-ING :)  
>Lily: Allie? Where are you? Why won't you txt me back? I bet your throwing parties ;) Tell Dylan I say hi.<br>Lily: Okay, getting a little worried. Txt me when you can. I have a weird feeling. Love you sis.

I feel a tear down my cheek and I reply.

Me: I'm home. I broke my charger and had to get a new one, sorry. No, no parties. Girl time for me, Dylan and I broke up.  
>I quivered as I typed but continued.<br>Me: Hope you're having fun in Chicago. Tell James I say hi. Love you too.  
>I look up and Kendall knows sees how hurt I am. He puts a hand on my shoulder and I wince.<p>

"Sorry," he mumbles. I grab my clothes and go into the bathroom.

I take the quickest shower of my life, cutting it down to less than two minutes. I get dressed as quickly as possible and I run out of the bathroom door to see if Kendall is still there. I end up bumping into him when I come around the corner and he quickly envelops me into a huge hug. I feel the tears starting to roll down my cheeks and Kendall squeezes me tighter. I feel safer, knowing he stayed with me through the night and with me in my biggest time of need. I wrap my arms around him and he picks me up. I curl up in the smallest ball I can manage and let him hold me.

"Shhh, Allie. Its okay, you're okay. I'm here," Kendall repeats to me and I keep crying. I didn't realize that Kendall had carried me up the stairs and back into the living room. I look up at him and he stares down at me.

"He-he said that it was the time a-and that... that I needed to... to do it," I stammer out, just barely over a whisper. His eyes get wide when he realizes that I'm talking about Dylan.

"I would never do anything like that, you're safe with me, Allie," he reassures me and gathers his arms tighter around me. I end up passing out from exhaustion a few moments later.

I wake up with a gasp and I flinch. I realize I'm in Kendall's arms and he's still holding me. He looks down at me concerned and I burst into tears again.

"Allie, w-what were you dreaming about?" he asks quietly.

"Why?" I whisper back.  
>"You said... Dylan's name, and then you started thrashing," he paused and took a deep breath. "Then you said 'no' repeatedly and then you said my name..." he trailed off. "Then you gasped and burst into tears," he finishes.<p>

"I-I did?" I whisper and I feel him nod. Suddenly I remember the dream.

"I was in my room," I say slowly. "Then I went upstairs and Dylan was there. I argued with him, a-and," I pause and Kendall wipes a tear off my cheek. "Then I remember Dylan forcing himself on me and forcing me to his car. Then screaming 'no' over and over," my voice cracks and I start full out crying. "And then there was a hazy figure above me… Then there was you," I say and wrap my arms around my legs.

"Is that what happened?" he whispers. I nod barely and feel another wave of exhaustion coming over me.

When I wake up again its morning and Kendall isn't here anymore. I stand quickly and sway on my feet. I see my iPhone lit up next to me and I don't remember bringing it upstairs. I see I have a text from Kendall.

K: Allie, if you're reading this then I'm still gone. I ran home to shower and get new clothes. I'm bringing back some Taco Bell for us, I called Lily. She knows. She's coming home tomorrow. Call her back and I should be back around 9.

I see its 8:15. "Great," I mutter to myself and walk into the kitchen. I open the fridge and grab a water bottle. I chug that and then grab another. When I'm done, I call Lily.

"Oh my god! I'm freaking out; please tell me that you're okay. Please," she begs.

"I'm okay," I say unconfidently.

"I'm never taking off again. I can't believe it. Who did it!" she practically screams on the other end.

I take a deep breath. "Dylan," I say.

"WHAT?" she screams and I hear James in the background trying to soothe her. I let her calm down for about a minute.

"Oh my god Allie. When did this happen?" she whispers.

"Yesterday..." I say slowly.

"And Kendall found you?" she asks.

"Yeah," I mumble and hear a sigh of relief.

"Thank god," she says. "I'll call you later," she says quickly and hangs up. I feel so alone and I get scared again. I quickly go to the couch and open TiVo. I put on a random Big Time Rush episode and hug my knees. It's only 8:23. Kendall walks in the door at 8:52 and he sits down next to me.

"I'm so sorry. I had to shower," he says.

"It's okay, thanks for staying with me," I say softly. He pulls me into a hug and I shudder.

"Do you want me to go?" he asks carefully.

"No, please stay until Lily gets here," I whisper. He holds up the Taco Bell bag.

"Hungry?" he asks. I can't help but smile.

"Here," he says and takes a chicken quesadilla out of the bag. "Eat," he says, but it's more of an order.  
>I eat most of it but I can't eat all.<p>

"Do you want to get out of here?" Kendall asks.

**Thanks for reading! :) It means a lot.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or Dustin. I only own the storyline, Allie, Lily, and Sammi.**

"Uh, sure," I say quietly.

"Well, go get ready!" he says and I do. I shower and leave my hair wet. I throw on a pair of jeans and my favorite t-shirt. I come upstairs and grab my phone.

"Okay, I'm ready," I say and give a weak smile. He walks out to his car and I follow. He opens the door for me.

"Thanks," I whisper and get in. He shuts the door and walks around the front. Once he gets in, he pulls out of Lily's driveway. He turns onto the freeway a few moments later.

"So where are we going?" I ask and wrap my arms around myself about ten minutes later. He notices and his eyes look like he's hurting.

"You'll see," he says. I start to feel the corners of my mouth twitching up and I let the smile come. It feels good to smile for real. Kendall notices my smile and he smiles back.

"Almost there," he says and turns off of the freeway. He parks the car at a park.

"There are a million parks by my neighborhood," I say and look at him skeptically.

"But not this one," he says and smiles. He gets out and I do before he can open my door. He hurries over and helps me out of the car. I put my hands in my back pockets.

"Follow me," he says and walks towards the woods. I stop when we reach the tree line.

"Uh..." I say and back away as he goes in. It runs through my mind that he could try to rape me or something worse.

"Oh," he says softly. "Allie, I would never hurt you," he says softly and puts a hand on my shoulders. He puts out his other hand. "Do you trust me?" He asks. I take his hand with hesitation.

He smiles and then turns back around. He leads me through the tree line and I realize there is a trail.

"W-where does this go?" I ask.

"To a clearing," Kendall says and keeps walking. I shudder involuntarily and tighten my grip on his hand. He notices and I see his green eyes on my blue ones.

"I won't let anything hurt you," he says protectively and squeezes my hand for reassurance. He turns again and we walk in silence for a few minutes. The trail thins until it's barely a trail.

"How much farther?" I ask and look around at the dense woods uneasily. He points in a direction and I see trees starting to thin. I immediately feel relaxed, even though I'm in the middle of the woods with someone I barely know. We hit the clearing and it's not exactly a clearing. There is just a gap in the tree line and sun coming through. It's maybe 20 square feet. There is an old beat up bench-swing over towards the tree line and a tire swing hanging from a branch that juts out over the clearing about ten feet in front of the bench-swing.

"Wow, how did you do this?" I ask.

"I didn't. My dad showed it to me and I just came here. The path we came on used to be a bike trail. He's a big biker," he says and sighs.

"What's the sigh for?" I ask after a moment's silence.

"When I was little, my mom left and my dad always biked. He used to make me go biking with him. I used to think my dad loved biking more than me, and it turns out I was right. He hasn't made one of my concerts or come to see me out here in Cali," he says.

"Oh, I-I'm sorry," I say and I realize that we're still standing in the same spot. "Let's go on the swing," I say and untwine our hand. I walk over to the swing and sit down.

"So," he says and sits down after me. "Since I told you about my parents, what are yours like?"

"My parents were the nicest parents you could ask for," I start slowly. "My dad was a workaholic but he tried to come home. I don't think he ever realized how hard he was working," I say and chuckle at the memory.

"Were?" he asks.

"My mom was a stay at home mom and she always took care of me and Lily. She would keep us from fighting, she'd cook for us, she'd do everything for us," I say and my voice cracks. "Which only made it harder for me and Lily when she died," I say quietly. Kendall takes my hand again and squeezes it for reassurance.

"They went away on their first vacation from us ever. They were on their way back from the airport. They came home on the late flight. They made it almost all the way home," I take a deep breath. "They got hit and killed on impact three blocks away from my house at the time," I whisper.

Kendall takes my hand in both of his. "I'm so sorry," he says.

"It's okay," I say quietly and walk over to the tire swing. "Want to give me a push?" I ask and he smiles. After we both take turns on the tire swing we go back to the bench. We both sit in our thoughts for a few moments.

"Kendall," I say softly and he looks down at me. "Thanks for staying with me," I almost whisper. "It really means a lot to me," I say a little louder.

"Allie, don't worry about it," he says and gives me a reassuring smile. I feel the corners of my mouth twitching and I let the smile come.

"You have a beautiful smile," Kendall says and my smile grows.

"Thanks," I say and look away. I feel a blush creeping up on me. I stare at a butterfly that's twirling through the clearing.

"Tell me something," Kendall says and I cock an eyebrow.

"Do you, or did you have feelings starting to develop for me when you came to the concert?" he asks.

"Yeah, I do," I say slowly. "B-but I'm not ready to do anything Kendall, I-I just need a friend right now."  
>I see his eyes drop.<p>

"Yeah, I know," he says quietly.

I look down at my hands.

"If you need a friend, then I'm here to be your friend," he says and takes my hand. I look up at him and he smiles. I take my hand out of his and I stand.

"Thanks for taking me here. We should come back here together," I say and look over the small clearing again. I see Kendall at my side.

"Yeah, we should. Do you want to go get coffee?" he asks.

I nod and see the butterfly disappearing into the woods.

"Come on," he says and smiles. We get to his car and he takes off towards Starbucks. He puts on a pair of sunglasses.

"Nice sunglasses," I comment and he chuckles.

About 10 minutes later he pulls up next to Starbucks. He even pays for my coffee.  
>"You didn't have to do that," I say quietly and walk towards the door. We both step outside and we walk to his car when out of nowhere a man with a camera starts to get in my face. I grab Kendall's arm and he hands me his sunglasses.<p>

"Come on sweetie, I want to see what Kendall Schmidt's girlfriend looks like," the man says and smirks. I quickly put the glasses on and I grip Kendall's shirt tightly because I'm so scared. He helps me into the car and we drive away in silence. I take off his sunglasses and I start to cry.

"Don't cry," he says softly and takes my hand.

"That was terrifying. How can you stand that?" I ask with a shaky voice. Kendall shrugs and pulls into Lily's driveway. We both get out of the car.

"The worst part is when they assume every girl that I'm with is my girlfriend," he says when we both get inside. I nod in response and sit down on the couch.

"I take it you don't want to go anywhere else today?" he asks and sits down next to me. I shake my head no and pick up the remote. I go to TiVo and put on The Big Bang Theory.

"This is my favorite show!" Kendall says and I smile.

"Really? Mine too," I say and he smiles back. We end up watching random Big Bang episodes until Kendall has his arms around me and we fall asleep on the couch together.

I wake up the next morning in Kendall's arms hearing Lily scream when she walks through the door.

"Allie! Oh my god," she screams and I run over to her and she hugs me in the only way an older sister can. I wrap my arms around her and I feel tears going down my face again. My body shakes from how hard I'm crying.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" she whispers in my ear. I nod on her shoulder and she grips me tightly. I see James walk in carrying her suitcase. He looks over at Kendall and nods. The next thing I realize is that Kendall and James joined in our hug and their squeezing us, picking Lily and I off of the ground. They start laughing and sobs wrack my body. I feel so much better that Lily is here but I feel a wave of pain knowing she wasn't there for me. The sobs express my confusion.

"Sh, it's okay," she whispers and James and Kendall go towards the kitchen. Lily strokes my hair and I grip her tightly so I don't collapse. She moves me towards the couch. We sit down and she comforts me. "Will you tell me what happened?" she says in a soothing voice. I go through the process in more details with her than I went through with Kendall and she wraps her arms around me reassuringly when I'm done and I feel a new set of tears coming on.

Kendall and James leave me and Lily to us. Lily and I pick up her house a little and then we both sit around watching TV.

"I don't think I'm going to go to school this week..." I say slowly.

"It's okay. Spring break is next week. If you want you can take classes online next term," Lily says. "You can get you GED if that's all you really want." I nod in response.

"I'm going to go to sleep," I say.  
>I go in my bedroom and check my phone. I have a few texts from Kendall and one from a friend named Sammi. <p>

Sammi: hey girl. Want to go get nails done?  
>Me: sorry can't. Rain check? <p>

I read Kendall's texts. 

K: Hope you're okay.  
>K: Call me if you need anything.<br>K: If you'd like, you can come to the studio with me tomorrow :)  
>Me: I'd like that. Would you pick me up tomorrow?<br>K: Yup! I'll be there around 9 :) 

I sleep restlessly. I toss and turn and wake up in a cold sweat once. When it gets around 4 I give up on sleeping and just lay in my bed thinking about what I want to do about school. Around 6 I get up and shower. I put on a light purple V-neck and some skinnies.  
>I go upstairs and pick at a muffin until I see Kendall at the door. I grab my phone and go outside.<p>

"Ready?" he says and smiles.

"Yup," I say and we get into his car and drive off.  
>Along the way I turn in the radio and sing my heart out. I've always sang to the radio and around the house. It was one of my favorite songs by The Fray.<br>When it's over I look over at Kendall and he's staring at me.

"Eyes on the road," I say jokingly.

"Wow, that was really good," he says.

"Yeah, you're probably just saying that," I say and look down so he can't see my red face.

"No I mean it," he says and pulls into the parking lot of the studio. He gets out and opens my door. He runs inside and I just walk in a few moments later behind him.

"She's amazing! I want you guys to hear her!" I hear Kendall say around the corner and I follow his voice. "Right? Sing Allie," he says and I look down.

"No thanks," I mumble and James and Carlos laugh.

"Come on, you did for me," Kendall pleads.

"Yeah, but..." I trail off.

"You can't be that bad," Carlos says and James laughs again.

"No thanks..." I say again and look around. "Where's Logan?" I ask.  
>Kendall, James and Carlos all look at each other. "Late," they say at the same time. I laugh and Kendall takes my hand and leads me around the studio showing me everything.<p>

"Wow, this is so cool," I say and he leads me into a room with couches and video games. He turns on the TV and puts on a music channel. Adele comes on and Kendall starts singing along. He stands and offers a hand. I take it and he stands me up. He starts dancing. I can't help but sing along with him and then he takes me by the waist and twirls me. I laugh and he keeps dancing. I laugh lightly when the song ends and I didn't realize that Kendall is looking at me the same way he was in his car.

"Wow," I hear behind me and I see Carlos standing there.

"She is good!" James yells and I look down at my feet and blush.

"Told you!" Kendall says.

"We were just coming to say that we're going to be filming soon," Logan says softly and they all walk out, leaving me and Kendall.

"You tricked me," I say.

"It was the only way to get you to sing again," he says and smiles.

"Well go film," I say and he takes my hand and leads me to the set. I watch them film for a while and talk with some extras. Everything suddenly goes black.

"Guess who?" I hear behind me.

"Uh..." I say nervously then the person takes their hands off of my eyes. I turn around and see James standing there.

"But... You were just filming... And you… What?" I stutter.

"I'm a ninja," he laughs and does some sort of ninja move. I can't help but laugh.

"Sure," I say. "Hey wait, are you and Lily... You know?"

"Yeah," he says and smiles but then everything goes black again.

"Really, again?" I say and I hear Kendall's laugh.

"Kendall," I say and he uncovers my eyes.

"Wow you're good," he says and I smile. "Hungry?" he asks and I nod. We walk over to a table filled with food and we both take plates back to the room we were in earlier.

"Hey aren't you supposed to be in school?" he asks.

"Yeah, but spring break is next week and I'm going to take classes online or get my GED," I say softly.  
>His eyes light up when I say 'spring break'.<p>

"Are you doing anything for spring break?" he asks but I can tell he's trying to hide excitement.

"No, nothing planned," I say.

"Oh, nice nice," he says and I cock an eyebrow.

"Nothing," he says but I still don't believe him. "Seriously!" he says.

"Okay then," I say.

"I have to go check something," he says and practically runs out the door.

"Alright," I mumble but he's already gone. He and James walk slowly into the room a few minutes later with huge grins.

"Yes?" I ask slowly.

"We're taking you and Lily to Hawaii!" they yell at the same time.

"What?" I almost yell and I hear Lily on speakerphone say the same thing.

"Are you serious?" I say and look at Kendall. He nods and I run to hug him. He picks me up and spins me around.

"Thank you so so much," I whisper in his ear.

The week goes by so slowly. I barely sleep but I go to set with Kendall every day and hang with the guys. Lily comes two days and we all have a great time. After every day we all go out to eat somewhere. On Thursday, me and Kendall end up going out to eat alone.

"Hey, have you ever gotten kicked out of Wal-Mart?" he asks randomly.

"No," I say and smile. He takes my hand and runs to his car. He drives us to his house and he runs to his closet. He throws me a cowboy vest and I put it on.

"Why do you have a cowboy vest?" I ask and he just laughs. He puts on a reindeer Christmas headband and I smile.

"Wait!" I say and grab hair gel. I make his hair stick straight up and I laugh. He throws me a bright pink bandana. I fold it and wear it like hippies do. He laughs again. He turns and pulls off his shirt. I see he torso. 'Oh god,' I think to myself. 'Please don't turn around,' I think and of course he does. I see his abs and his chest. I force myself to look at his face and he smiles. He pulls out two t-shirts.

"Hannah Montana or Cookie Monster?" he asks. I glance at his torso again.

"Hannah Montana, definitely!" I say and he laughs. He puts the Hannah Montana t-shirt on. Then I realize how tight it fits on him and I have to force myself not to look at his abs.  
>He puts on his favorite sunglasses and I put on my reflective aviators.<p>

"Ready?" he asks and I smile and nod. We drive to Wal-Mart and walk in. We walk casually to the bikes until Kendall sees a Princess and the Frog bike. He runs over to it, hops on and honks the horn. He drives off in the store still honking the horn like crazy. I grab a swim noodle that's by the bikes and chase after him. When I get close I start hitting him on the head with it and he starts laughing like crazy. We realize that three workers are standing at the end of the aisle and we turn around. Two more are at the other end and we both laugh. We go towards the one with two people and Kendall jumps off his bike and starts running. I laugh and follow him. We run from the workers and stop in the magazine section and I'm so out of breath from running around and laughing. Kendall is too.  
>We grab magazines and pretend to read them with our back turned on the aisle. The workers run up behind us.<p>

"GET OUT!" one of them yells and we drop the magazines and run towards the exit. When we get outside we run to his car and jump in. We both start laughing really hard.

"That was really fun!" I say when I catch my breath.

"I know right?" he says and I laugh even harder.

"How did you know getting kicked out of Wal-Mart was fun?" I ask curiously.

"Dustin and I used to all the time," he says and starts the car. I nod and we drive off.

"Coffee?" we both say at the same time and we laugh. When we get to Starbucks I take off the cowboy vest and he laughs. I start to untie the bandana.

"No, leave it on," he says and smiles. "I like it," he adds and I blush. He takes off his headband.

"Leave your hair gelled," I blurt out. I cover my mouth and get out of the car and quickly go inside.  
>We get the coffee and decide to go for a walk down to the nearest park. We put on our sunglasses when we get outside. We walk down to the park sipping our coffee. We sit down on the bench and watch all of the kids play.<p>

"Don't you wish you were a little kid again?" he asks. I nod and sigh. We leave each other in our thoughts until I see someone that keeps looking at us from behind a tree.

"Kendall, do you see that guy over the-" I stop when I see he has a camera. Kendall sees him too and we both get up. We start walking briskly back to his car. When we get there, there are at least four men with cameras and the one behind us.

"Oh god," I whisper and he takes my hand. I hide behind his arm and he helps me to his car. I can hear the men yelling at Kendall asking him questions about me. He gets into the car and the lenses are pressed against the glass. I turn towards Kendall and he smiles weakly. He drives off.

"How do they know where to find you?" I ask.

"Sorry, obsessive tweeting," he says and I smile.

"Are you following me?" I ask and he nods.

"I haven't been on in forever," I say and decide to check from my phone. I go on and realize my mentions are full of people asking me questions and mentioning me in conversation and everything. I realize I've gained 4 and a half thousand followers.

"Whoa," I say and he laughs. "How'd I get so many followers?"

"Like I said, obsessive tweeter," Kendall says and I check his profile. He mentioned me a few times saying he was hanging with me and at the studio with me, Lily and the rest of Big Time Rush. Then another saying he was eating and then saying he was at Starbucks with me. I check Lily's profile and see that she's enjoying her 2000 new followers. I laugh and set my phone down.

"Want to go to my place and watch a movie?" he asks. I nod and we go to his place. When we get there he goes into his room and changes his shirt. I pick out a movie and put it in. Kendall comes back with popcorn and I smile. We sit down on the couch together and watch Iron Man. We keep shifting to get comfortable until my head is in Kendall's lap and I fall asleep. I shift into fetal position in my sleep and he puts his arms around me. I wake up with a gasp and burst into tears again.

"Shh, Allie it's okay. I'm here," he says. I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face into his chest. I calm down and he kisses my forehead.

"Are you alright?" he asks. I nod with my face in his chest and he laughs softly.

"Want to talk about it?" he asks. I shake my head with my face still covered by his chest and he laughs again.

"What's so funny?" I say muffled by his chest.

"Nothing, it tickles," he says and I smile. I stay there in his arms until I fall asleep again and I wake up in the same position the next morning.

"Morning," he says and I yawn. "How did you sleep so much?" he asks.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"10:30," he says. "You fell asleep around 7 too," he adds.

"I slept through the night?" I ask and I realize it was the wrong thing to say.

"You don't sleep through the night?" he asks with concern. I bury my face in his chest and shake my head. "Why not?" he asks.

"Because when I wake up I'm too scared to fall back asleep," I mumble into his shirt.

"Oh I'm sorry," he says. I lift my head from his chest and look in his eyes.

"Don't be, I think the only reason I did really fall asleep was because I knew I was safe," I answer.

"You feel safe with me?" he asks. I blush and nod sheepishly. "Don't be embarrassed," he says. I bury my face in his chest and he laughs again.

"You're like my best friend," I mumble in his shirt and look up at him. He's smiling down at me.

"You're like mine too," he says and I know it's my turn smile.

**Thanks for reading! :) It really means so much. And if I could ask of a favor? Could you pretty please review? I can't improve on my writing if no one tells me what they think! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush. I only own the storyline, Allie, and Lily.**

Kendall refused to tell me any details about Hawaii and James did the same to Lily.

"So uh, when are we going to Hawaii?" I ask.

"Tomorrow," he says, like it was no big deal.

"Tomorrow!" I almost yell and stand. He stands next to me and looks at me worriedly.

"Why? What's wrong?" he asks. I start to pace. I didn't know if Lily could get off of work. I didn't know if I had enough money to bring. I didn't know who was going to take care of Lily's house. But most importantly, I didn't know what I was going to wear. I don't own one swimsuit.

"I don't own a swimsuit," I say sheepishly.

"You don't have one swimsuit?" he asks skeptically. I shake my head.

"Seriously?" he says and laughs.

"Don't make fun! I couldn't afford to buy all new ones after I threw mine away. They were all old," I explain.

"You live in California… and you don't own a swimsuit," Kendall says and laughs again.

"Be quiet," I mumble and flop onto his couch.

"Well then, we'll go shopping," he says.

"We?" I ask. I look up at him and cock an eyebrow.

"I need swim trunks too," He says and shrugs.

"Come on," he says and takes my hand. He pulls me off of the couch and I flop back down.

"No," I say.

"Come on," he says and pulls me back up.

"I don't like shopping," I whine.

"I'll buy," he says and pulls me up for the third time.

"No," I say stubbornly. I don't want him to pay. I don't want to be his charity case.

"Why?" he asks.

"I'm a big girl and can pay for myself, Kendall," I say and flop down. I cross my arms and look at him with the best glare that I can muster without laughing.

"I know you want to laugh," he says and picks me up by my waist.

"Kendall!" I yelp and get nervous. He throws me over his shoulder. "What are you doing?" I say nervously.

"Putting you in my car," he says and walks to the front door, opening it and stepping outside.

"W-what?" I scream. I thrash out of his grip and land on his stairs.

"What? What did I do?" he says nervously. "Oh," he quickly realizes and bends down to my eyelevel.

"I didn't mean to scare you," he says softly and I nod. I wipe a stray tear that fell during the process and stand. I get into his car before he can open the door for me and stare out of my window. I hear the door open and the car start. He pulls out of his driveway and onto the freeway a few minutes later.

"Let me stop at Lily's," I say quietly.

"For?" he asks.

"So I can get money," I say and look down at my hands.

"Alright," he says and turns off of the freeway. He pulls into Lily's driveway a few minutes later.

"How much should I bring?" I ask.

"50 maybe," he says and smiles.

I run inside and hop into the shower. I dress with the clothes that I found on my dresser and take a 50 out of my secret money hiding place in my sock drawer. Thank god for waterproof mascara. I walk outside and he's on his phone.

"Wow, fast shower," he says when I get back in the car. I smile and turn on the radio.  
>When Kendall turns onto the freeway my favorite song comes on. <p>

"I love this song," I say and turn the volume up. I dance in my seat for a bit until the lyrics come. I sing until the bridge comes. I notice Kendall has a subtle smirk on his face.

"What are you smirking at?" I ask.

"Oh, nothing," he says and puts his phone in his pocket.  
>The song ends when Kendall turns off of the freeway. He pulls into the mall parking lot and to the valet service. A worker opens my door.<p>

"Thank you," I smile and take Kendall's hand when he reaches the sidewalk.

"Where to?" he asks.

"It doesn't matter," I say softly.

"Follow me," he says and leads us to a small shop with swimsuits in the window. We walk into the shop and there are swimsuits everywhere. I pull five off of the rack and go into the dressing room. Kendall is over looking at swim trunks. When I come out he's sitting on a chair facing the dressing room. He checks me out and I blush.

"Tie this for me?" I ask and he stands. I look into the mirror. "I don't know about this one," I say.

"I like it," he says. I look down and blush. I practically scurry back into the dressing room and come out a little while later with the swimsuits.

"Are you going to get them?" He asks and stands.

"I wish, they all fit but I can't afford them," I reply and put three on a random rack. We go to the checkout and I pay, using all of the money that I took. Kendall pays for the swim trunks that he has in his hands and we walk out of the store.

"Shoot, I must have left my phone on the chair I was sitting on, I'll just take a second," Kendall says and ducks back in the store.

He comes back outside with a smirk on his face. I cock an eyebrow.

"Found it," he says and smiles. We walk around the mall for a few minutes until we pass American Eagle.

"I wish I had enough money to buy shorts," I say.

"I'll pay," he says.

"No," I say.

"You can pay me back if you feel that bad," he sighs.

I think about it for a few moments. I'll have to call Mr. Sanchez, my guardian since my parents died, and get some money out of my bank account. "Alright," I say uneasily. We go around and get shorts. When we're done, Kendall stops and Sunglass Hut and I laugh.

"What?" he asks.

"You have the biggest collection of sunglasses of any other person I know, yet you have to buy some," I say and chuckle.

"Sh," he says and leads me into the store. He picks out a pair and looks at me. "Want a pair?" he asks and I shake my head.

"Your loss," he adds and I smile. He pays and we walk out of the store. We decide to go back to my house so I can pack.

"I've never been to Hawaii before. Want to help me pack?" I ask and he nods. We go downstairs. "Shoot, I forgot to do laundry. I was going to but then I fell asleep at your house" I say and grab my hamper. I set off upstairs and I go outside. I hear Kendall behind me and then he steps in front of me.

"What?" I ask.

"You don't have a washing machine?" he asks and I shake my head sheepishly. "Where do you do your laundry?" he asks.

"A laundromat," I say in a 'duh' voice.

"Oh," he says. "Where's that?" he adds.

"Down the street," I say and step around him. We walk to the laundromat and I put a few loads going because I'm so behind on laundry.

"What time is our flight tomorrow?" I ask.

"8:40," he replies.

"In the morning?" I ask and he nods. I look at my phone and it's 3.  
>My laundry gets done around 4:30 and I fold it. When that's done, it's around 5. We walk back to Lily's house and she's there packing too.<p>

"I was just heading to the laundromat," she says and sets off right when we get there. I laugh.

"Have fun!" I call to her. I go down to my room and grab my suitcase from inside my closet.

"Okay, so I need shirts, shorts and swimsuits at least," I say and Kendall laughs at me. I ignore him and pack a ton of V-necks, a few t-shirts and undershirts. I throw in the swimsuits and shorts I bought today and a few more of my older shorts.

"Do I need anything nice?" I ask and he nods. I go in my closet and grab a short, sequined purple dress and my high waist skirts.

"Fancy enough?" I ask and he nods.

"You only really need the dress for when we go-" he stops.

"Go where?" I ask skeptically.

"It's a surprise," he says and I know that's all I'm going to get out of him. "But the skirts will be nice for when all of us to out to eat together casually," he adds. I pack them and run upstairs to grab my collection of many sandals and flip flops. Kendall laughs.

"What?" I ask.

"Well I'm obsessed with sunglasses you're obsessed with shoes," he says and chuckles.

"Shut up," I say and he laughs again. I duck into my closet and grab a pair of flats and my two pairs of heels. I grab a handful of underwear and bras. Kendall cocks an eyebrow. I blush and put them in my bag. I pack sleeping shorts and beach towels.

"Be right back," I say and walk to my bathroom. I grab my curling iron and personal hygiene items. I run upstairs and grab a plastic bag to put them in. I grab the envelope in my drawer in the kitchen.  
>I go back downstairs and pack my stuff, then reach in the envelope to get the money I owe Kendall. I hand it to him and he hands it back.<p>

"No, take it," he says.

"No," I say and he puts it back in my envelope.

"I don't want it," he says and I go to argue with him but I know it's useless.

"Fine," I mumble. I pack a pair of jeans and sweatpants.

"Is that all I need?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"Carry on," he reminds me.

"Oh!" I say. I put the envelope of money into my purse and put my wallet in there as well. I grab a backpack and put my purse in it. I put a few books, a magazine, my phone charger, and a picture of my mom and dad in there.

"Now am I all good?" I ask and he nods. I smile and zip my suitcase.

"All done," I say and he smiles. Kendall grabs my suitcase and takes it upstairs for me.

"Thanks," I say and he smiles.

"Now you have to help me pack!" he says. I look at my phone and see it's around seven. We go to his car and drive to his house. When we get there he gets out and runs inside with the bag he had earlier. I walk inside and into his room. I lay down on his bed.

"Comfy?" he asks and I giggle.

"Yeah," I say and sprawl out. He puts his suitcase on his bed and the he starts piling clothes out on his bed. He fills his bed up and then starts putting piles of clothes on me. I laugh and he continues. He takes less than half of the time I took to pack.

"Been to Hawaii before?" I ask. He nods and smiles.

"How long are we staying there?" I ask.

"Three weeks," he says and I smile. "Then I have to go on tour a few days after we get back," he adds.

"What?" I ask and he nods.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier," he says and looks down.

"It's alright," I say softly. I check my phone and it's around 8.

"Want to watch a movie?" he asks.

"Sure," I say and he goes to pick one out. I fall asleep almost instantaneously. I wake up in Kendall's bed the next morning and I'm up against him.

"Go eat, I'm going to shower then we'll stop at Lily's," he says and gets up. I do as he says and right when I'm rinsing my bowl out he comes in the kitchen.

"Ready?" he asks and I nod. We drive to Lily's and she's in the shower. I see James at the table.

"Well good morning sunshine," he says and smiles.

"Morning," I mumble, still half asleep. Kendall laughs and grabs my bag. He puts it in his car then comes in and grabs Lily's. I hear Lily out of the shower and I walk downstairs.

"Did you call Mr. Sanchez?" I whisper so Kendall and James won't hear.

"Yeah, he's letting us use his credit card," she whispers back. I nod and get into the shower. When I'm done I blow dry my hair. I decide to put on Kendall's bandana again.

'What the heck, we're only going tithe airport,' I think to myself and put on a pair of jeggings and a white blouse. I grab my satchel out of my purse and put it on, then put on my backpack. I grab my sunglasses and go upstairs.

"Nice bandana," I hear Kendall say and I laugh.

"Thanks," I say and we all go into Kendall's car. We get to the airport around 7. I grab my suitcase and we go through security. Lily had to go through about four times because she kept forgetting her watch, jewelry, then the change in her pockets. I'm almost crying from laughing once they finally clear her.

"Shut up," she mumbles and shoves everything into her pockets. When we walk through the airport I see a magazine with me and Kendall on the cover. I stop and buy it. We arrive at our gate around 8:20. I see a Starbucks and my eyes light up.

"Want some?" Kendall asks and I nod. We walk over together and order.

"Is this together?" the worker asks.

"Separate," I say quickly. I pay for my own and I walk back towards out gate.

"You're so stubborn," he says.

"It's one of my best qualities," I say and he laughs. We sit down and I take Kendall's hand.

"Nervous?" he asks and I nod. I've always hated flying. And flying over the middle ocean where we're miles away from the shoreline doesn't make me feel any better.

"Well at least I get the window seat then," he says and chuckles. I practically chug my coffee then Kendall offers me his.

"Ah, caffeine," I say and Kendall starts laughing uncontrollably. I laugh with him until I get nervous again. I stare at the plane out the window and hope to god we don't die. When the airport lady calls for first class Kendall and James stand and look at us expectantly.

"We're in first class?" Lily asks and the guys give us looks like 'duh'.

"Okay then," I say and stand. We board the plane and I take Kendall's hand when we sit down. We're by ourselves in a row and Lily and James are a few rows in front of us. The attendants go through the security procedures and talk about how our seats will work as flotation devices. Kendall notices me tense up and takes my hand.

"Don't be nervous. It's just like riding in a flying car. Except that you really need to pop your ears eventually," he jokes.

"Not helping," I whisper and look out the window. Once we're at the highest altitude that we'll be flying at I see that you can't even see the ocean. All that you can see from the plane is clouds. I relax a little and take out the magazine that I bought in the terminal. The headline of the article reads 'Who is Kendall Schmidt's mystery girl?'. I flip to the article and there are pictures of us walking, me grabbing his arm, me hiding, pictures of us at the mall from yesterday, pictures of us on the park bench, pictures of us smiling, me laughing. Endless pictures that make us seem like we're dating. There's even my twitter name and snippets of his tweets about me. Although you can't see my face in any of the pictures because of my sunglasses, I feel as if my privacy has been invaded. When the attendant comes to check that all our baggage has been stowed, I ask her if she can throw away the magazine. She smiles and agrees.  
>"Don't you feel as if you're always being watched in public?" I ask him.<br>He nods. "That's why we're going to Hawaii. So we can get away from them," he says and I smile.  
>The pilot announces that we're going to be landing a few hours later. The ocean comes into view again and I grab onto Kendall's arm. He laughs. I was fine during the flight because I fell asleep about fifteen minutes after reading the article. But now I'm terrified.<p>

"Why are you so scared of flying?" he asks.

"What if the plane falls out of the sky? We could all die instantly!" I say and flail dramatically. The flight attendant walks by and laughs. I glare at her back and Kendall chuckles.

"If you're that scared I'll sing with you," he says and smiles.

"Alright," I say.

Kendall starts singing Never Say Never by The Fray softly and I join in. When I can see the ground my voice starts getting shaky and I grab onto his arm again. He laughs and continues singing. I sing along in a shaky voice until we're on the ground. I smile at him and he smiles back. When we stop singing I realize that most of the plane has gone silent. I look around and one guy starts clapping. Most of the passengers join in and I blush. I hide behind Kendall's arm. When we're allowed to get off the flight attendant and a few people comment on our singing. I blush until we get into the terminal.

"Race you to the baggage claim!" James says to Kendall and they start running like six year olds. Lily and I laugh until we realize that we have no idea where the baggage claims are. Eventually, we find the escalators and make our way down to the baggage claims. We see Kendall and James and walk over to them.

"Thanks for leaving us lost in the airport," Lily says and hits James' shoulder playfully.

"Sorry," he whispers and leans down to kiss her temple.

"We got the bags though!" Kendall says and smiles. All four of us get our luggage and walk to the rental car counter. James talks to the man and we get two cars. When we get outside there is tons of paparazzi.

"How do they know we're here?" Kendall says to James. James shrugs and takes Lily's hand. We walk out of the airport and they run over to us.

"Thank god for sunglasses," I whisper to Kendall and he smiles. I hide behind his arm until we get a cab. I can already see the headlines for the next article. 'Kendall Schmidt takes girlfriend for Hawaiian vacation'.

"I hope they don't follow us," James says to Kendall. Kendall nods and we get in. We get a ride to the rental car shop and we get two cars. James gets one and Kendall gets the other.

"Next stop is the house," James says.

"House?" Lily asks.

"Vacation house," James says. "A guy from the record label owns it and is letting us use it," he adds.

"Oh," Lily says and gets into the car with James. Kendall and I get into the other. Kendall follows James.  
>Kendall stays silent and I gasp at all of the beautiful mountains. Kendall chuckles when I gasp.<p>

"What?" I ask after about the third time.

"You're acting like you've never seen mountains before.

"Well I haven't," I say.

"You've lived in California and you've never seen the Sierra Nevadas?" he asks. I shake my head.

"Seriously?" he asks. I nod. "That's surprising," he adds.

"Oh, here we are," Kendall says and pulls into a driveway. It winds through trees until I see an amazing beach house right on the beach. We have our own private beach. I smile at the thought of being here for three weeks with my three favorite people. Kendall parks the car and gets our luggage out of the trunk. Lily and James are already inside. They claim one of the bedrooms so they can stay together. The only room left is the guest bedroom.

"I can sleep on the couch..." Kendall says hesitantly.

"No! You can stay with me, I don't mind," I say quickly. I see Kendall looks skeptical. "Really, I mean it," I add.

"Okay," he says and we go into the room. My mouth drops when I walk in.

"I'm glad you're staying here too, I could never use up this much room," I say and he laughs. We have our own bathroom and a king size bed. The room is beach themed and has chairs in the corner with a small bookshelf. There is a picture of a sunrise on the wall and open rafters on the ceiling. I open the window and there is a perfect view of the ocean.

"Wow, if this is the guest bedroom I wonder what the master looks like," I say. Kendall shrugs and I open my suitcase.

"I call right side of the bed," Kendall says and I smile.

"Good," I say and he chuckles. I walk around the room. On the bookshelf are some books and I mentally noted that I'm going to read them. I walk into the closet.

"I call the dresser," he calls to me.

"I'm perfectly fine with that," I call out and laugh. Kendall walks in.

"Nice," he says and nods in approval.

"Want the right side of the closet too?" I ask and he nods. We start unpacking and about halfway through I see the bag Kendall rushed inside yesterday.

"What's so special about the bag?" I ask and he smiles.

"Got you a present," he says and his smile grows.

"What?" I ask and he hands me the bag. I open it and see the three swimsuits I couldn't afford.

"Kendall," I groan.

"You don't like them?" he asks.

"I can't believe you got me these, you've spent too much money on me," I groan again. "How am I going to pay you back?" I ask. Kendall smiles at me.

"Why are you smiling…?" I say slowly.

"Be my girlfriend," he says.

"Excuse me?" I say, shocked.

**I was literally crying earlier because I was so happy. In the first day of me putting my story out, I got 7 people to favorite/set my story on their alerts. I don't know what the difference between hits and reviews are, but I got 101 hits and exactly 50 views! I couldn't believe it. Thank you! It means so much, seriously. Also, if you could, review my story? I can't improve my writing if you don't tell me what I'm doing wrong/right. Again, thank you! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush. I only own the storyline, Allie, Lily, and Dylan.**

"_Why are you smiling…?" I say slowly._

_"Be my girlfriend," he says._

_"Excuse me?" I say, shocked._

"Be my girlfriend," he repeats.

I stare at him for a few moments to make sure he's not kidding. I look down at my hands nervously.

"I-I don't know if I'm ready for this Kendall," I say softly. He walks over to me and takes my hands in his. I look at our hands together and see a faint smile on his lips.

"Just give me a chance," he says softly. I look up into his mesmerizing green eyes. He smiles down at me.

"I'll try," I whisper. Kendall's smile grows and he picks me up, spins me around then starts leaning in.

"Kendall," I squeak and run into the closet. I honestly don't think that I'm ready for a relationship after getting raped by my ex not even a month ago. I sit down in the middle of the closet next to my suitcase. I bury my head into my hands and force myself not to cry. I don't know what I'm getting myself into. I don't even know why I said yes. I was just about to stand up and walk out of the closet and tell Kendall that I couldn't do this and ask him to stay on the couch until I realized that he was standing in front of me.

"When did you get in here?" I ask and grab a shirt out of my bag.

"About two seconds ago," he answers and sits down on the opposite side of my suitcase. "I know what you're thinking," he says.

"What am I thinking?" I ask and look down at the shirt I'm holding.

"That I'm like Dylan or I'll copy his actions. You're thinking you're making a mistake since you said yes," he says and plays with the carpeting on the floor. "You're not making one," he whispers and looks up at me.

"Kendall…" I start.

"I'm not going to hurt you or force you to do anything," he interrupts me. "I'm sorry about spinning you around, but I was so happy. I didn't mean to scare you," he explains.

I look down at my hands.

"It might take me a while to establish a strong physical relationship," I say and look back down. He laughs and takes my hand.

"I'm still going to be here even if you don't want to kiss me," he says. "Trust me," he adds and stands.

"I suggest we should finish unpacking before we go and do something fun. Got to do the un-fun stuff first," he says and flops down on the bed. He pats the space next to him and I sit on the side of the bed, next to him. He wraps his arms around my waist. I lie down and put my face into his broad chest.

"Your hair smells good," he says and I laugh.

"Lily and I are- whoa," I hear and look up. I place my head on Kendall's shoulder and see James and Lily standing in our doorway.

"Lily and you are?" I ask and raise my eyebrows.

"Going grocery shopping…." James says and walks out of the room. Lily winks at me and skips out of my room.

"We'll see you in a few hours!" she calls and I hear the door shut.

"What happened to unpacking?" I ask.

"Unpacking. Lying down. What's the difference?" Kendall asks.

"There's a big one," I say and push myself up into sitting position.

"No there's not," Kendall replies and pulls my body down so I'm lying across his chest.

"I disagree," I say and try to sit back up, but Kendall just pulls me tighter against his chest.

"You're my cuddly buddy," he says in a voice that you would talk to a baby with and wraps his arms tighter around me.

"I can't breathe," I wheeze and Kendall instantly stops squeezing. I jump off of the bed and throw a pillow at him. "Gotcha," I say and wink.

"You win this time," Kendall sighs and sits up.

"Oh, I know," I smile and walk into the closet. I start unpacking my shorts and hum to myself. Before I know it, I'm belting out Katy Perry in mine and Kendall's closet, just starting to hang up my nicer clothes.

"This is the part of-" I stop and burst out laughing because Kendall decided to tickle me. I slam against the wall and try to wriggle away from his fingers.

"Who wins this time?" he asks.

"Me!" I manage to get out and Kendall tickles me some more. He backs me into the corner and continues to tickle me.

"Are you sure?" he smirks.

"You do!" I say.

"Who does?" he asks and his smirk grows.

"You do!" I yell.

"Who?" he says.

"Kendall Francis Schmidt wins!" I yell and he stops tickling me.

"That's right," he says and puts a hand out to help me up. I take it and go back to my suitcase.

"You still aren't done?" he whines.

"No," I say in a whinier voice.

"Hurry up," he says and drags out the P.

"Okaaaaay," I say slowly. I finish hanging up my nicer clothes a few minutes later. I walk out of the closet and Kendall is sitting in one of the chairs in the corner with his swim trunks on.

"Kay, we're going to the beach," Kendall says. "Go get dressed," he says.

"Yes sir," I say and change in the bathroom. I walk out and Kendall isn't in the room. I walk into the living room and he isn't there either. I go onto the porch and see him sprinting on the sand. I don't know if it's because it's hot or if it's because he's that excited to go into the water, but he looks like a little kid. I can't help but laugh. I walk down the stairs onto the beach and realize why Kendall was running. The sand was _hot_. I sprint down to the beach area and wade in the water to about my ankles. The water was so warm.

"Got you," Kendall whispers into my ear and picks me up. He throws me over his shoulder and starts wading into deeper water.

"Kendall, put me down!" I say.

"Okay," he simply says and drops me into the water. I come above the surface and muster up a nasty look.

"Thanks," I mumble and start wading towards the beach.

"You're welcome!" he calls after me. I stifle my laugh and lay down the towel that he brought down out on the sand. I sprawl out on it and tan.

I didn't realize I fell asleep on the beach until Kendall wakes me up.  
>"Well hey sleepy," he says and sits down next to me.<p>

"Hey," I say and roll over on my back.

He spreads out on another towel next to me and spreads out my hair. I close my eyes and he runs his fingers through it. He twirls it around and I giggle occasionally. All of the sudden Kendall kisses my cheek and I hear him getting up. I open my eyes and see him running up to the house.

"Where are you going?" I call out after him but he keeps running. I stand up, fold my towel, and start walking back to the house. I have to start running because the sand feels even hotter than before.

"Kendall?" I call out as I reach the steps. I hear no response and see a note taped to the door.

'You'll never find me!' it says.

"Oh yes I will," I mumble and set off to our bedroom.

I go into the closet and pull over a pair of jean shorts over my swimsuit bottoms. I put on a t-shirt and walk out of the closet humming to myself. I look up and see Kendall planking on the rafters.

"How did you get up there?" I ask. I was truly confused because there was no ladder or anything to help him get up there.

"I'm Spiderman!" he says.

"Well Spiderman, I'm hungry," I say and laugh. I walk out of our room and into the kitchen. I sit down on the stools, determined to wait for James and Lily to get back until I hear Kendall fall. I run into the room and see him lying face down on the floor.

"Kendall?" I say and crouch next to him. I place a hand on his shoulder "Are you okay?" I ask anxiously.

He jumps to his feet and scoops me up. I yelp from surprise and laugh. He carries me out into living room.

"Don't do that to me!" I say and he kisses my forehead. "I'm sorry," he says and laughs. James and Lily walk in at that moment.

James stops in the doorway and I hear an 'Uf!'. I'm guessing Lily ran into him. I see her head pop out and her face lights up. Kendall sets me down and James walks to the kitchen awkwardly. Lily walks over to me and gives me a we-need-to-talk look. I sigh and watch Kendall go to help James and I ignore Lily's looks. I grab the remote off of the coffee table in front of us and turn the TV on. I flip through the channels until I see the weather channel. It says that it's supposed to be in the 70s and 80s for the rest of the week. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Lily giving me continually persistent looks. I finally give into them and grab Lily's wrist. I lead her into the hallway where Kendall and James can't hear her squeals.

"Are you two dating?" she squeals.

"Yes," I say hesitantly.

She gives me a big hug. "Congrats sis," she says and smiles. I smile a real smile back and she realizes, pulling me in for another hug.

"I'm taking a shower," I say and walk into mine and Kendall's room. I grab everything that I need and walk into the bathroom. I turn on music on my phone to my favorite playlist and hop in the shower.  
>I stay in the shower until the water gets cold; trying to wash away some of the jet-lag.<p>

I walk out of the bathroom with just shorts and a bra on, with a towel in my hair. Kendall is in the room putting his suitcase away.

"Oh!" I squeak and duck into the closet.

I stay in there until I hear Kendall leave. I felt so embarrassed; the first day that we're dating and he already sees me without my shirt on. I throw on one of the many Big Time Rush shirts that Kendall gets from his fans. I walk out of the closet and see Kendall sitting on the bed. My face turns red and I look down at my hands.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were in the shower," he says, making me look up.

"It's okay," I say softly.

"Still hungry?" he asks and I nod. He nods to a plate on the table in the corner of the room. I sit down on the chair and he sits down on the chair next to me. I take the plate and eat whatever it is, and it's good. It's different from the simple meals me and Lily always cook and it's a lot better than fast food or take out that we get multiple times a week.

"Who made this?" I ask.

"James and I," he says.

"It's good," I reply and he smirks.

"Thanks," he says and grabs a book off of the shelf. He reads the back cover of it. "What do you want to do tomorrow?" he asks a few minutes later.

"It doesn't matter," I say and it really doesn't. I'm in Hawaii with my three favorite people. I don't care what we do, as long as I'm with them and having a good time.

"Oh, okay then," he says and we go back to our thoughts. I was having a specifically good thought about his body in that Hannah Montana t-shirt when he interrupts them.

"Want to go down to the market?" he asks.

"Didn't Lily and James go already?" I ask, confused.

"A different one," he says and smiles.

"Sure," I say and get up to put my empty plate away. I go into the kitchen, over to the sink, and rinse off my plate. I look through the cupboards for a glass to put water in. After about the third random cabinet I open, I find them and fill it up. I lean against the sink and take a sip.

"Come out on the porch," Kendall says, opening the sliding glass door and walking out.

I put my glass in the sink and follow him onto the deck.

"Congrats man," James yells from down on the beach. He and Lily are walking together. I blush and look down when Kendall gives me a confused look.

"How'd he find out already? I didn't tell him," Kendall says.

"Lily," I mumble and sit down on a lawn chair. He smiles and sits down next to me. We talk until the sky turns orange.

"Wow," I say, staring at the sunset. I see Kendall looking at me. "It's like a movie," I say and look back at the sunset. I'm completely enthralled in it until the sky starts turning a darker shade of purple.

"That was gorgeous," I say. Kendall stands up and kisses my forehead.

"Just like you," he says and I'm glad it's dark out so he can't see me blushing. "Let's go inside," he says and holds out a hand to me. I take it and he helps me up. We go inside and into our room. When we get in the room, I see the bag with the swimsuits that Kendall bought me sitting on the floor. It's almost like it's mocking me, telling me to pay Kendall back. It's telling me that they don't want me to wear them since I didn't buy them. I sit down on the bed and sigh. Kendall goes into the closet and he comes out about a minute later wearing sweats and no shirt. When he comes out I'm lying on the bed already under the light blanket.

"Want me to open the window?" he asks and I nod. Even though it's barely dark out I'm exhausted from flying. He lies down next to me and I fall asleep almost instantly.

When I wake up Kendall's arms are around me and I'm facing his chest. I gasp and he kisses my hair.

"Are you okay?" he asks softly.

"Yeah," I say and my voice is hoarse.

"You were screaming in your sleep," he says, answering the question I didn't ask.

"What was I saying?" I whisper.

"Mostly 'No' and 'Please' but then you screamed my name and it scared me. So I pulled you into my arms and you screamed for a few more minutes then stopped when I sang," he explained.

"I'm sorry I kept you awake," I whisper.

"Don't be," he says softly. I look at his chest and remember the dream. It was Dylan. And he was fighting Kendall. I shudder at the sight of my dreams flashing through my mind again.

"Do you want to get up?" he asks.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"6," he says.

"No," I whisper and snuggle into his chest. He starts humming a tune that I don't recognize softly and I fall asleep a few minutes later. I wake up and we haven't moved from our position. I smile and lay in his arms until he wakes up about an hour later.

"Morning," he whispers when he looks down to see if I'm awake. He gets up and goes into the bathroom, I go out into the kitchen. James and Lily are sitting on stools drinking coffee. I go to grab a cup. James laughs at me.

"What," I say, holding the coffee pot just above my cup.

"Nice shirt," he says and I see he's wearing the same one. A fan must have given them all t-shirts.

"Was that you screaming?" Lily asks and I nod. I start to pour my coffee. I grab creamer out of the fridge and pour some of that in.

"Was Kendall singing?" she asks and I nod again, taking a sip of my coffee afterwards. "Awe," she says and I blush before going into my room.

I sit down on the chair in the corner with one of the books I brought and drink my coffee. Kendall walks out of the bathroom a while later just wearing shorts.

"You didn't get me a cup?" he asks jokingly. I smile and shake my head. He pulls on a shirt and walks out of the room.

When I'm done with my coffee I hop into the shower, taking a quick one, and put on a little bit of make-up. I'm wearing a pink summer shirt and white shorts with some sandals. I walk out of the bathroom yawning.

"Tired?" Kendall asks and I jump. I didn't even see him standing in front of me. He laughs and I nod sheepishly. He walks into the closet, still chuckling to himself. I flop down onto the bed and see the bag still sitting on the floor, mocking me. Kendall didn't need to buy me anything; he's too good for me. The bag is just a reminder of how much I don't deserve him. I find myself glaring at it, almost arguing with it inside of my head. I finally conclude that I'm just acting childish and get up off of the bed. I grab the bag, open the window, and throw it down onto the sand. I flop down on the bed again with my face in a pillow. I hear Kendall sit down on the bed next to me.

"Why'd you do that?" he asks.

"Because I felt like it," I mumble into the pillow.

"Look at me," he says.

"No," I say into the pillow. I know I'm acting childish but I'm mad at myself for letting Kendall spend all that money on me and for saying yes to him.

"Please," he says and puts his hands on my back.

"No thanks," I say and burst out laughing because Kendall started tickling me. I laugh uncontrollably and he continues. I'm rolling around trying to get away from him. My face turns red and he's laughing with me.

"Thank you," he says and smiles.

"Jeez," I say. He looks at me confused. "Magic fingers," I mumble. I walk over to the bookshelf and grab a book that looks appealing. I walk out of the room reading the back cover of the book. I hear Kendall chuckle and his footsteps behind me.

"Want to go to the market?" he asks.

"No," I mumble and go sit on the deck.

"Why not?" he asks.

"Jet lag," I reply and flop onto a chair. I read the book that I grabbed until I realize the sun was setting. I watch it until the moon starts to come up on the horizon. I watch it until its almost halfway up into the sky. Using the light of the moon, I stand and walk down the porch steps. I look around for the bag I threw out the window earlier and see it on the sand about 50 feet away from me. I walk over to it, pick it up and look at the swimsuits inside. I knew I was being childish for reacting like that, but it was an impulse thing. I go back up on the deck, grab my book, and head inside.

"You looked into that book," Lily says from the couch.

"It's not bad," I reply.

"You missed dinner," she says with raised eyebrows. "It must have been good," she adds.

"I'm actually not finished with it," I snap back and she laughs.

"There's a plate on the counter if you want any," she says.

"No thanks, I'm not very hungry," I say and walk into mine and Kendall's room.

"I didn't want to bother you," he says from on the bed. He was reading as well.

"It would have been okay if you would've," I say.

"Someone's in a better mood," he says and smiles.

"Yeah," I say and smile back. I walk into the closet and put the bag down on my side of it. I change into some pajama shorts and a t-shirt.

"Why were you in a bad mood?" he asks when I walk back out.

I sigh. "I don't feel comfortable with people buying things for me because usually I have to pay them back. I usually only let Lily buy me stuff," I say explain.

"You'll never have to pay me back. You'll never have to return anything that I give you either," he answers and gets up off of the bed. He walks over to me and I wrap my arms around his waist. He kisses my forehead and I smile. I rest my head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. He picks me up, and lies down on the bed with me still in his arms. I roll off of him so I'm on the bed, but he keeps is arms around me. I rest my ear against his chest, listening to his heartbeat until I hear his breathing slow and steady. I look up into his face; it looks so peaceful when he's asleep. I fall asleep that night knowing that I made the right decision by saying yes to him.

**I'm happy that I got some reviews! Thank you for your encouraging words. It was seriously nice of all of you to do that. If I could, could I ask the same favor? I can't improve if you don't tell me what I'm doing wrong/right. **

**Oh, and I don't really have a certain day that I would upload once a week or so because I'm very unorganized, so I'm sorry if it frustrates you that I'm impulsive. I write when I get the time and I'm a perfectionist so it takes me forever. So again, sorry! I'll try my best to upload as fast as I can.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush or Taylor Swift. I only own Allie, Lily, the snorkeler, Maria, and the man in the blue shirt.**

The first week in Hawaii was probably the tannest that I've ever gotten in my life. I was a really dark brown by the time the end of the first week rolled around. Kendall took me to a different beach every day. James taught Lily and I how to surf for two days, then the third day we spent surfing by ourselves. After that, Kendall just kept taking me to all of the beaches around the island. Every night before I would fall asleep Kendall would kiss my forehead and I would wake up to him kissing it again. It was a really cute gesture on his part and I was really starting to get used to the fact that Kendall wouldn't hurt me like Dylan did. I woke up to Kendall kissing my forehead again today.

"Morning," he smiles.

I yawn in response and sit up. He chuckles as I groan while stretching. "Morning," I say lazily and flop back down onto the bed.

Kendall gets up and goes into the closet to get changed, I'm guessing. I get off of the bed a few moments later and walk into the kitchen. I pour myself a cup of coffee and lean against the counter, looking out the sliding glass door and towards the ocean.

"Wanna go snorkeling?" Kendall asks and walks into the kitchen.

"Snorkeling? Me?" I ask, pointing to myself.

Kendall nods.

"I'll probably drown," I say.

"Come on, you can't be that uncoordinated," Kendall says and chuckles.

"But I am," I reply. I take a sip of my coffee and raise my eyebrows at him to prove my point. Kendall laughs again.

"I am! I've fallen numerous times on the beach! Remember?" I say and he laughs even harder. "It also took me twice as long to learn how to surf as it takes normal people," I add.

"It took Lily and you the same amount of time," he argues.

"It runs in the family," I mumble and put my cup down on the counter.

"What was that?" he asks.

"Nothing, I'm going to get ready," I say and walk towards our room.

"We're going snorkeling whether you like it or not!" he calls after me.

"Well it's definitely a not!" I call back.

I walk into our room and into the closet. I put on one of the swimsuits that Kendall bought me and look into the mirror. I still don't understand why he bought me them, but I don't bring it up since I already threw them out the window once. I put on a pair of lighter shorts and a see through white loose shirt. I throw my hair into a messy bun and tie Kendall's bandana around as a headband, with the tie at the top. I grab my reflective sunglasses and walk out of the room looking at my iPhone. I check my twitter for the first time since I've been in Hawaii. I notice I'm almost at 20K followers and my mentions exploded. I check Kendall's profile and see that he's posted pictures of me and him on his profile. It makes me smile and I retweet them, making my mentions explode even more with questions from random people with pictures of Kendall and his band mates as their pictures. I tweet that we're going snorkeling and close Twitter since it was starting to make my phone slow.

"Ready?" Kendall asks.

"Yup," I answer and put my sunglasses on.

"Nice bandana," he comments and puts his sunglasses on as well.

"Thanks. I really think that pink is my color," I say and Kendall laughs. Kendall holds open the front door for me and I walk through sticking my tongue out at him. He laughs again and locks the door. Lily and James are gone to a different island for a few days according to the note on the counter so it's just Kendall and I. I open the passenger door once I reach the car and get in; Kendall does the same except for on the driver's side. He turns on the radio and starts singing along to a song that I don't recognize. The next song that comes on is one of my favorites. It's Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift. I start singing it, and then realize Kendall is recording me 'secretly' with his phone.

"Any reason you're recording me?" I ask.

"Nope. Just want to be able to listen to your voice whenever I want," he says and gives me a cheeky smile. I laugh and sing softer, hopefully so that he can't catch my voice. He pulls up towards a small shop on the beach and parks the car. There's a colorful sign on it with a painted on blue snorkel that tells me we're at the right place. I'm guessing that the little business owns private beach property because there are only a few families and couples in the water. I take out the bandana because I don't want it to get wet and leave it in the cup holder.

"Still going to drown," I joke to Kendall when we walk towards the lady at the counter. He chuckles and walks up, coming back with snorkeling gear a few moments later. We both put on our gear and laugh when we try to walk to the beach with the flippers on.

"Surprised you haven't fallen," he comments and tries to raise his eyebrows but can't because of the dorky snorkel mask.

"Surprised you aren't tanner than me," I counter back and smile.

"Not a fair argument," he replies and wades into the water.

"Fair enough!" I call and start to wade in after him. When we get to about waist level we start to float and make our way into deeper water. Being able to see all of the fish is like we're in a different world. I start to follow a little school of fish until I realize that I've lost Kendall somewhere along the way. I bring my head up and tread water, looking for blonde head. I swim over to the only one I can see and tap on his back.

"Kendall?" I ask tentatively. The person comes above water and of course, he's not Kendall. He has a similar hair color and body shape, but he brown eyes and not as strong of a jawline as Kendall.

"Excuse me?" he asks.

"Nothing, I'm sorry, I'm looking for my boyfriend," I say and start to tread away from him.

"Can I help?" he asks.

"No thanks," I smile and start to swim away. He goes back to snorkeling and I bump into someone in the water. Kendall's face emerges from the water.

"There you are," he says and smiles.

"Here I am," I say and glance over to the guy I tapped on the shoulder. He's looking at me and once we meet eyes he smiles.

"What are you looking at?" Kendall asks and turns around to look. "Him?" he asks and raises his eyebrows.

"Yeah, I thought he was you so I tapped his shoulder. But he's not you, obviously," I explain.

"Obviously," he repeats and laughs. "Hungry?" he asks.

"Starving," I say and we start to swim into shore. Once we reach it, we take off our gear and return it to the lady. We walk over to the car and I take out my messy bun. I run my fingers through a couple of times and then throw it back up. I get into the car and put the bandana back on along with my sunglasses. I realize that it's almost three already and my stomach growls. Kendall laughs and I chuckle, but I'm mainly embarrassed. Kendall drives down the street for a few minutes and then pulls up to a little restaurant that's on a boardwalk overlooking the beach.

"I'll pay," I say when we're done eating.

"No, you won't," Kendall raises his eyebrows and hands his debit card to the waiter that is sitting there watching mine and Kendall's small quarrel.

"Don't take that card," I say to the waiter. His hand stops about halfway to the card and the waiter looks at me.

"Take the card," Kendall says and places it in his hand.

"Give it back," I say to the waiter.

"No, take it," Kendall says and looks at me with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Don't take the card," I say, locking my eyes with Kendall's.

"I'll just go bring it up myself then," he says and stands.

"No you won't!" I say and stand, almost knocking my chair over and walking swiftly up to the woman at the cash register. I start getting money out of my purse and tell her what table I was at. She gets the total amount on the register.

"Don't take her money," I hear Kendall's voice behind me.

"Take my money," I say and place it on the counter.

"No, take this," Kendall says and his arm comes over my shoulder with the credit card in his hand.

"Don't do it," I say to the lady.

"Let's just make it on the house, hm?" she says and chuckles.

"What! No!" I say and urge her to take the money.

"I'm not taking your money. You two just made my day. No charge," she says and walks away chuckling.

I leave a ten on the register and see Kendall leaving the small restaurant. I follow him out to his car and get in.

"Well that didn't go as planned," Kendall says and smiles at me.

"Definitely not," I answer and he starts the car. Automatically, I turn on the radio and start humming along to a song. Soon enough, Kendall pulls into the beach house driveway. I get out of the car and go into the house. I decide to take a shower to rinse off some of the salt. I wear one of my floral skirts and put some product into my hair that makes it wavy after my shower. I grab a book that I've been reading and go out into the living room where Kendall is.

"Want to go shopping?" he says before I can even sit down.

"As long as I can pay for my own clothes," I say and smile.

"No promises," I hear Kendall say when I start walking back towards our room. I put on my favorite pink sandals and grab my bag. I walk back out and smile.

"Ready?" he asks and I nod.

We go out to the car and spend the whole ride into the city singing together and laughing. He parks in a parking lot next to a street filled with stores and a mall that's just down the street.

"I hope there are no cameras," I say quietly and get out. Kendall takes my hand.

"There won't be," he says confidently and we both put on our sunglasses. "I haven't tweeted yet," he adds and I laugh. Kendall takes out his phone and puts it away a few moments later. "But now there might be," he says, leaning down and kisses me.

"Why do you have to tweet everything?" I ask him.

"I just want everyone to know that you're mine," he says and squeezes my hand. I smile and we start walking down the street. I notice a man in a blue shirt in more than a few of the stores that I enter. I start being cautious because I figure that he's just paparazzi. We walk into the mall and a wave of air conditioning feels amazing. A shrill scream breaks my train of thought.

"Oh my gosh! Are you Kendall Schmidt?" someone yells.

"It's him!" another voice squeals.

"And his girlfriend!" another screams.

"He's here!" another says and all of the sudden Kendall and I are surrounded by a group of about 15 teenage girls.

They go on screaming and more people gather around. Kendall ends up taking pictures with all of them and the few more people that gather. He signs arms, phones, receipts, and other random items. Some of the girls even wanted a picture with me, which surprised me.

"You're so lucky to be dating Kendall," a girl of about 12 gushes to me.

"More like I'm lucky that he's dating me," I say and laugh.

"Is he a good kisser?" A girl that looks about 14 asks and giggles.

"Well-" I get interrupted by another girl.

"Is he good in bed?" another girl asks.

I can't help but laugh. "Excuse me?" I ask and Kendall walks up to me surrounded by the teenage girls bombarding me with questions.

"It was nice seeing all of you," he says and smiles at them. He takes my hand and leads me away from them. All of them gawk at us as we walk away. I turn back to look at them and a few frantically wave. I wave back and smile. I see the blue shirted man walk into the mall behind the group of girls. He walks around them and meets eyes with me, even though I'm still wearing my sunglasses I feel sort of creeped out. I look away and put my arm around Kendall, he does the same.

A small girl walks in front of Kendall and I, she looks up at Kendall with big brown eyes.

"Hi sweetie," Kendall says and she says 'hi' back quietly. He takes off his sunglasses.

"Are you really Kendall?" she asks quietly. He smiles and kneels down to her height.

"And what if I am?" he says and smiles. She throws her arms around him. I see her mother sitting on a bench a few yards away. I smile at her and she smiles back, and then her eyes go back to Kendall talking with her daughter. I see the man in the blue shirt sit down at a bench watching Kendall interacting with the girl as well.

"I love you so much!" she says and he laughs. Kendall picks up the little girl, who says that her name is Maria.

I take out my phone. "Smile," I say to Kendall and Maria.

"Why?" she asks.

"Because this is adorable," I answer. I take a picture of Kendall and Maria.

Kendall puts her down and stays down at eyelevel with her.

"Will you do me a big favor?" he asks the small girl.

Maria nods her head excitedly. Kendall takes off one of his bracelets. The one he takes off says 'Big Time Rush' in white script with pictures of all four of the boy's heads.

"Will you take good care of this?" he asks in all seriousness. Maria's jaw literally drops.

"Yes! I promise!" she says and Kendall puts the bracelet on her wrist. Kendall hugs her and she blushes.

"You should probably get back to your mom now," he says and smiles, standing to his full height.

She runs over to her mom and shows her bracelet off to her mom. Her mom looks over to us and smiles warmly to Kendall. He smiles back and puts his sunglasses back on. Our hands find each other again and we go back to shopping for another hour or so. Somehow, in every single store I manage to glimpse at the man either walking by, looking around the same store as us, or sitting on a bench nearby. When Kendall suggests frozen yogurt, I automatically agree and see if the man will follow us there too. And he does. Kendall orders both of our frozen yogurt and I don't argue with him because I'm too busy thinking about the man who's sitting a few tables away from me reading a newspaper. I don't realize that I'm staring until Kendall sits down in front of me and has to literally wave his hand in front of my line of sight towards the man.

"Why are you staring at that man?" he asks me curiously.

"No reason," I say nonchalantly.

"You're a horrible liar," Kendall chuckles and eats a spoonful of his yogurt.

I chuckle and start eating my frozen yogurt. About halfway through I glance over at the man and realize that he's watching Kendall and I talk.

"Kendall," I whisper to him.

"What?" he whispers back and smiles, leaning down in his chair.

"You know that man that I was staring at?" I whisper.

"Yeah," he says and I can hear the confusion.

"He followed us all afternoon," I whisper and he straightens up. His head whips around to the man in the blue and their eyes meet. They stare for a few minutes until Kendall stands.

"No, Kendall, don't!" I whisper-shout to him, but it's too late.

**I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long. It really means a lot to me that I've still gotten tons of hits on this story though! I'm almost to 700, and I can only thank you guys for reading. It really means a lot! **

**I'm out of school now so I'll hopefully be able to update more often. **

**Would it be too much to ask for a review? They're greatly appreciated! And if you have questions, I'll answer them in my next author's note. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Wow! Hello, long time no update. Thank you for the review I got to my phone a few days ago asking me to update. I've forgotten about my FanFiction, and I deeply apologize. **

**Throughout the summer I had a relative I was close to pass away, so I kind of didn't feel like writing after that. A few weeks later, my summer sports team started practicing, after that school started, then my grandfather passed away, and now I'm on Christmas break! And during a long part of that my computer was being fixed, so I didn't even have anything to write with! So hopefully I'll get to posting a few chapters here and there until January. :)**

**I hope everyone is able to understand that I've been going through a few rough patches here and there so please, bear with me. I don't know if I'll be able to update consistently, but I'm going to try to get to maybe 7 or 8 by January. **

**Again, thank you to the review that made me get off my butt and write this, although it's shorter than the rest, it felt good to write again.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush or any of their songs.**

Kendall turns around and stares at the man and the man stares back. "Kendall, I don't think that's a good idea," I whisper to him.

"It's fine," he whispers back. "What is he going to do, come and talk to us?"

"He might!" I whisper.

"No he won't," he answers and turns to face me again.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"Positive," he says and smiles while taking another spoonful of ice cream.

"Looks like you were wrong," I say as the man stands up. He walks towards us and Kendall turns around.

"Stay here," Kendall says and stands. He walks towards the man and meets him halfway through the small ice cream shop. From my point of view I can see the back of Kendall's head and the man's face. The man seems to be explaining something to Kendall, and I can see Kendall nodding. When Kendall turns around, he's smiling, which just confuses me. Both of the men walk back towards me and I swear every step that Kendall takes, his smile grows bigger. When they reach in front of me, the stranger holds out his hand for me to shake.

"You look so much older," he says as we're shaking hands.

"Excuse me?" I say.

"Allie, this is Freddie Carger of Carger Records," Kendall says.

"Well it's nice to meet you, Mr. Carger," I say and smile.

"I'd like to talk to you in private, if that's alright," he says to me, and my eyes go wide.

"Uh, I think I'd rather have Kendall here for that, I'd feel a lot better about it," I say and grab Kendall's hand. The thoughts through my mind aren't good ones, and Dylan pops into my mind. I don't want that to happen again.

"Alright then," Mr. Carger says sort of awkwardly, "I wanted to talk to you about singing for me, maybe making an album, and then I wanted to talk to you about your parents."

"Excuse me?" I say for the second time.

"You might remember me better as Willie," he says. I rack my brain for any memories of a Willie that I might know, and the only one I can think of was my uncle, who I haven't seen since I was little.

My face goes blank. "Uncle Willie?" I ask in confusion. He takes out his wallet and shows me the picture I drew for him when I was 7. "Oh my god!" I say and I cover my mouth. "You kept that for all of these years?" I ask.

"Of course, how could I throw away a picture that my favorite niece drew for me?" he says and smiles.

"How did you find me?!" I ask.

"I can answer that," Kendall says. "Big Time Rush has been moved to another company. And that company is Carger Records. Since we got moved and since you've been going to the company with us, your uncle has asked me a few times about you but never specified why he's been asking until today. When he was following us I just kind of figured that he was checking to see if everything here was alright with me and James in Hawaii, but I was wrong. He wasn't here for me at all."

"He tweets all the time and you look exactly the same as you did when you were little too," Uncle Willie adds.

"Lily's going to be psyched!" I say excitedly.

"Lily is here too?" Uncle Willie asks.

"Yeah, she's here with James. You've got to come back to the house for dinner tonight," I say and look at Kendall to see if that's alright. He nods and Uncle Willie does the same.

"Kendall, you'll have to text me the directions to where you're staying. I'll be there around 7," he says and smiles. "But I've got to go, I have a meeting," he says and walks off.

"Well that was a pleasant surprise," I smile and look at Kendall, noticing our hands are still intertwined.

"How come you've never told me that your uncle was my boss?" Kendall asks.

"I haven't seen him since I was 7 and made that picture. He didn't even come to my parent's funeral. I figured that he didn't want me in his life anymore," I say and shrugged.

"Why would anyone not want this amazing girl in their life?" Kendall asks and gives me a hug. I can't help but smile as we pull apart. "Come on, we can go to the market to get some things to cook for tonight," Kendall says. 

As we drive to the market, I can't help but sing along with the radio. Everything today just went well, I was happy, and I felt like singing. Kendall sang along with me, but not as loud as I was singing. He was smiling the whole time. When we got to the market, Kendall even opened my door for me. I kiss his cheek as I got out and thanked him, then asked him why he was smiling still.

"I love your singing," he simply said and took my hand. We walk to the vendors and buy all the things we need, taking up about an hour. When we drive back to the house, I end up eating parts of the food that we've gotten, and Kendall laughs.

"You know we have to cook, right?" he asks as we pull into the driveway.

"Looks like we'll just have a little less than we wanted," I say and open my door. As I walk inside, Kendall takes the grocery bags from me and I go into our bedroom to change into something more comfortable. I walk out in jean shorts with one of Kendall's signature flannel shirts. Walking out of the room, Kendall stands in the doorway and doesn't even try to hide the fact that he's checking me out.

"Way to be subtle," I say, walking past him.

"What? All I'm doing is looking at my own shirt!" he says.

"Sure you were," I say, turning around and sticking my tongue out at him. He chuckles and goes into the bedroom while I make my way to the kitchen, starting to prepare the food we bought earlier.

Later that night, I hear a knock on the door. I open it, coming face to face with my uncle.

"I hope you don't mind that I'm a little early," he says and smiles.

"Lily! Come here!" I squeal. She walks over to me and her face lights up.

"Uncle Willie!" she practically yells and runs up to him.

"Aw, Lil," he says and pulls her into a hug. I walk back into the kitchen to where Kendall and I were cooking together, putting the finishing touches on dinner.

"It's a good thing that you're early or else the food would have been cold by the time you would've gotten here," I say and smile, bringing the food to the table that everyone was already sitting around. I set it down, sit in my chair next to Kendall, and everyone starts to eat. During the meal we talk about how the boys got moved to the new label, when Lily and I were little, and about our parents.

"So you both have boyfriends now?" Uncle Willie asks. Lily and I look at each other, giving small smiles and nodding.

"Well, I like Kendall," he says and I sigh from relief. Kendall gets a big smile on his face and looks at me.

"But I don't know about James," he adds. James's face gets a look of pure terror and Uncle Willie winks at me. Lily is looking down at her plate and she doesn't look too happy.

"Just kidding babygirl," he says. Lily looks up at him and smiles. She laughs nervously and I smile. "I have to go," he says and looks at his watch. "Here's my card. If you call the Los Angeles number they'll know where I am," he adds and hands me a small business card from across the table. He stands up and is out of the house in less than 45 seconds.

"At least we got a card this time," I say and shrug.

"I still can't believe he didn't come to the funeral," Lily says and looks down. I look at the small card. "Well I can see why," I say. The card has 4 different numbers and all with different names, none of them Willie. Lily and I laugh.

"Goodnight," she says and gets up.

"Night," I say and see that the sun is starting to set.

"I'll help you clean up," James says to me and smiles.

"Thanks James," I say and stand, stacking some plates up.

"No problem. I don't really mind doing the dishes. My parents always used to make me do them with my siblings," he says and starts to fill up the sink with soapy water.

"Really?" I ask. "I didn't know you had siblings."

"Well technically sibling," he says. "I have a sister named Jessie, and a stepbrother named Frankie. I don't really talk to Frankie that much, but Jessie is coming to our show down here."

"What show?" I ask.

"What?" James says quickly and starts washing some dishes.

"What show are you talking about?" I ask James.

"I don't remember saying anything about a show," James says and doesn't answer any more of my questions throughout the night. When we're done doing the dishes I walk into mine and Kendall's bedroom. Thinking Kendall's asleep; I take my shirt off and walk to the dresser, humming.

"Well hello," he says and I jump.

"I thought you were sleeping," I say and put on a shirt from my dresser. I can feel myself blushing.

"Sorry," he says as I grab some pajama shorts from my drawer and walk into the bathroom. When I walk out of the bathroom after getting ready for bed, he really is sleeping. I lie down and fall asleep a few moments later, thinking about everything that happened during the day. 

A few days later as I'm sitting on the deck reading, Kendall walks out eating a sandwich.

"Hey," he says.

"Hey," I smile and look up at him.

"Tired?" he asks and I nod.

"At least you're sleeping through the night now," he comments.

"Yeah, I don't know what I'm going to do when you're on tour," I say softly and look back down at my book. He sits down and we stay silent for a few minutes.

"You might want to wear that purple dress tonight," he says in effort the cheer me up.

"Where are we going?" I ask without taking my eyes off of the book.

"Nowhere, I just want to see you wear it," he says and winks at me when I look up.

"Sure," I laugh.

We sit and talk for a few more minutes before I stand and walk back inside. I go into our room and shower. I can't help but sing in the shower. This whole experience in Hawaii has been amazing. It's made me realize that my sister and I are growing closer, Kendall and I are growing closer, and that they're some of the most important people that I need in my life. When I'm done showering, I blow dry my hair and go into the closet. I throw on a pair of shorts and a shirt. When I turn around to get out of the closer, I see a note taped to the door.

**Scavenger hunt?**

I laugh and take it off. I turn it over to see if there is any writing on the back.

**You're not going to get your next clue until you curl your hair!**

I go into the bathroom and see that there's a note taped to my curling iron. How I didn't see that when I was showering or blow drying my hair, well that beats me.

**Go see Lily when you're done.**

I walk out and see Lily reading on the couch.

"Can I have my next hint?" I ask.

She looks up. "Nope," she simply says.

"Why not?" I ask.

"You didn't listen to the no-ote," she says in a sing-song voice and smiles, then goes back to reading.

I sigh and go back into my bathroom. It takes me almost an hour to curl my hair and style it how I like it. I decide to put on makeup because I felt weird with my hair done and not makeup. When I open the vanity I see another note.

**You look beautiful.**

I smile and put on my makeup. I walk into the living room a little while later, expecting her to be reading, but she's not. I go on the deck and notice she's tanning down on the beach. I walk down towards her and she must have heard me coming because she looks up at me.

"Good girl, wow. You even skipped the next step. It was to go put on makeup, but I guess you can have the next one," she says and lies back down.

I wait for her to say the next clue.

She looks at me.

"Well?" I ask.

"Oh! Go put on your dress," she says smiling. I walk all the way back to my room and into the closet. I see a note taped to my dress.

**Wear me!**

I smile and put it on. I go to put on my heels that I brought to wear with the dress and see that they aren't there. There's another note in the place where they used to be.

**We ran away, come find us!**

I walk out of my closet, confused on where to look for them and see paper footprints taped to the floor. I follow them and they take me through the house, onto the deck, then they are laid down on the sand. I see my heels on a towel underneath a palm tree with a rose next to them. I put on my heels and pick up the rose. Of course, there's another note on it.

**Turn around.**

I look around until I see Kendall walking towards me wearing a fancy tux and his hair gelled back.

"Aw," I say and smile.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi! It's been a while, hasn't it?**

When Kendall reaches me I can tell that I'm smiling like an idiot.

"You look beautiful," he says and takes my hand, leading me back up the beach towards the car.

"Thank you," I say, and for some reason I feel shy around him.

"I'm going to take you out for dinner and then there's a small surprise afterwards," he says and I feel myself smiling as I get into the car.

"You know that I don't like surprises," I say to him as he gets in. He just shrugs and starts the car, pulling out of the driveway. Once we get out onto the freeway he takes my hand and out of the corner of my eye I can see him with a small smile on his face. We drive for about an hour with a comfortable silence while Kendall draws patterns on the back of my hands. The only that he lets go is when we reach the restaurant and get out of the car, but grabs it again after handing the keys to the valet. He tells the host our reservation and she leads us to a table, and Kendall, being the gentleman he is, pulls my chair out for me and kisses my hand before sitting across from me.

"You really didn't have to do this," I say to him.

"I know, but I did because I wanted to do something special for you," he says and smiles at me.

The waiter comes up to get our drink orders, and then walks away again. Kendall and I fall into comfortable conversation while waiting, and then order our food. When the food comes, Kendall and I eat and talk, and then when we're done and it's paid for, he clears his throat and suddenly looks nervous.

"What's wrong?" I ask nervously.

"Nothing at all," he says and smiles. He then takes something out of his pocket and opens the box, showing me a beautiful necklace.

"Kendall…" I start, but get interrupted.

"Look, I just want everyone around to know that you're mine, and that I care so much about you, I want you to always have a reminder of me," he pauses to take a deep breath. "I want you to look in the mirror and always know that I love you."

Hearing his last words, I freeze.

"Allie, I know you're scared. I don't expect you to say it back; I don't expect you to even feel the same. I just want you to know that I do, and I'm not ashamed, or scared, or embarrassed. I just wanted to tell you," he says, standing and putting the necklace around my neck. He takes my hand and helps me up. "Do you like it?" he asks, smiling.

I nod back and put a small smile on my face. Kendall's smile grows wider.

"Okay, well now it's time for the surprise," he says and takes my hand, leading me out of the restaurant.

As I'm sitting in the car, my mind is in overdrive. Suddenly I don't know how to act around Kendall. I don't know what to say or do, everything about me is awkward. I don't even remember the drive to where we are now, and when I get out I have no idea where we are or what the surprise is. We walk a few blocks and then it hits me. We're at the show that James let slip at dinner. Kendall walks by security and waves, the man says both of our names, nods, and then leads me backstage.

"Allie!" I hear a scream, and then I feel Lily's body crash against mine and squeezing me into one of her famous hugs.

"Hey," I say and smile weakly.

"What's wrong?" she whispers and I just put a small smile on and shake my head.

"Hey Allie," Logan comes up and hugs me. I respond with a hey and then realize Kendall is nowhere to be found. "He's getting ready, he can't really wear a tux on stage," Logan answers for me and chuckles. He notices the necklace and smiles. "So I see he told you, huh? I'm really happy for you two," he says and smiles again. The next thing I know is that my feet are off the ground and someone is laughing really hard behind me.

"Allie! How are you!" Carlos says and sets me back down on the ground.

"I'm doing alright, how are you doing Carlos?" I say and pull him into a hug.

"I'm great. I think you're really going to like this show," he says and smiles a knowing smile at me.

"Really Carlos? Why's that?" I say and can't help but smile.

"No reason," he says and suddenly turns to walk away.

"Carlos! You can't do that!" I yell to his back and he just turns to smile at me before turning a corner.

"Looks like it's just me and you, sis," Lily says and leads me around backstage, giving me a tour. "So James told me this is usually where they hang around when they're all done changing and getting ready but waiting for the show to start," she says and pulls me into a room with couches, a TV, and Xbox. James walks in a few minutes later, places a kiss on Lily's cheek and turns on the Xbox.

"So how was your dinner this evening?" James says and smiles at me.

"It was good," I say slowly and watch as he nods, then continues playing his game. Soon after, a man walks in with a headset and clipboard, telling James that there is about 15 minutes until he has to be onstage, then leaves just as quickly as he came.

"I think I'm going to get something to drink," I say and stand. I leave the room, and although I have no idea where I'm going I just keep walking down hallways. As I'm walking I hear faint screaming, and follow it to the stage. Eventually I reach where it is and decide to stay where I am, since I'll probably be here in a little bit anyways. I look around and see people rushing everywhere. Most of the people are wearing headsets and talking into them, but there are others. One girl I see is wearing tight leather pants and yelling at someone with a clipboard at how someone's shoes aren't teal, but chartreuse. I smile and turn to look around some more. I see some bottles of water on a table across the room, and decide to get one since I actually left Lily and James to find something to drink. Once I get over there I reach for water, but someone grabs my hand and I freeze.

"I'm sorry, but those are only for the talent," a girl with a mean look and hair that's threatening to fall out of her messy bun says to me and moves my hand away from the bottles of water.

"Uh, alright.." I say and walk away. I didn't understand why I couldn't have one bottle, the whole table was filled with them. I decide to disregard it and walk back to where I was on the side of the stage. I peek out the side of the curtain and see tons of people. Screams are filling my ears and I don't know how Kendall can perform in front of that many people. As I'm thinking, I feel someone's hand slip into mine and I look up to see the familiar hazel.

"I'll see you after the show," he says and places a kiss on my lips, then runs out on the stage with the other three boys following. I hear the fans go crazy, then the songs start. They sing, dance, pump up the crowd. All until the worldwide girl comes on, then Kendall comes and pulls me out from behind the curtain.

"What? No, Kendall," I start but before I know it I'm already on the stage and being seated on the stool in front of Kendall. I see Lily is sitting on James', but she's enjoying it. She's smiling and I can see that she and James are truly happy together. I smile, then hear the song starting. Afterwards, Kendall takes my hand and looks out to the crowd.

"I just want to let everyone know that this is Allie, as most of you probably know. And as most of you probably know, she's a pretty good singer, and she's my girlfriend," Kendall says and wraps an arm around my waist. I hear screams, and see flashes of light that I know are cameras. He waves to them and then leads me off-stage. "I have to go get changed, do a few more songs. I'll see you after the show," he says and runs off somewhere backstage.

I'm overwhelmed. I can't process thoughts correctly, and I can't help but let a few tears slip. I mumble to Lily about the bathroom and then wander down the hallways. I find the exit that Kendall led me in, and hear the security guard say something.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you," I say.

"I asked if you were leaving already. I know that the show doesn't end for about another forty-five minutes," the large guard said.

"Oh, I just have a headache from all the screaming. I told Kendall I would catch a cab home," I say, forcing a smile onto my face for the guard's sake, and he nods. I walk about a block, then feel myself running. My heel catches on a crack, and I feel myself fall down onto the ground. As I stand back up, I know that something is wrong with my ankle, but I tell myself I can't stop. I walk back to the vicinity where I know the car is, and then hail a cab. I tell him the address to the house, take off my heels, and rub my throbbing ankle, knowing that it will swell on the car ride. We reach it in about an hour and a half. I know that Kendall is done with his show, but I hope that he is doing something with the boys and not on his way here because I'm not good with goodbyes. When I reach the house, I tell the cab to wait and hand him a bunch of bills, not even bothering to count. I practically run into the house, ignoring the pain shooting up my leg, grab my suitcase from under the bed, and just grab blindly for the clothes in my dresser drawers, throwing them in the suitcase and then limping into the bathroom and throwing the rest of my stuff in the suitcase. I grab a pen and paper, scribble a note on the piece of paper, leaving it on the bed. I know that I have about an hour's head start on Kendall, but I have a feeling that he's on his way here, and I feel a few tears fall. I bring my suitcase outside and tell the cab to bring me to the airport, and schedule the next flight back to LA, without bothering to check the price. I pull out my credit card that I share with Lily, and book it. I was lucky enough to catch the next flight back in forty five minutes, and by the time I'm out of security, I'm boarding the plane and I'm flying over the pitch black ocean and looking out at the stars.


End file.
